2013 is almost done....on the one hand its been the most amazing year, on the other hand that darn learning curve took itself off it's own graph and was last seen heading towards Saturn. As a general rule I'm an optimist, a half glass kinda girl and steadfastly remain so but I don't always learn quickly and I don't like letting go or giving up, so sometimes I hang on to the edge of the raft even when I can clearly see the very miffed Tiger sitting in the dingy opposite me.So as I stare out of the raft and back at this year it's been about travel, meeting new people, friendship, love, revising past chapters in my story so far and final curtain calls.

And so after a busy beginning to the year for Easter this year I learnt more about Islam in Morocco than I ever expected, and from a Muslim man. I gained a level of respect for a culture that in truth I knew very little about, this beautiful country with its warm people and colorful women reminded me nothing beats an open mind or an open heart where education is concerned. From there in May I found myself back in Italy for our first Pilates Retreat of the Year. I love teaching in Casperia, enough said. The following week my life was being saved at St Mary's Hospital, London, when a rather frustrated Appendix decided enough was enough. The NHS is a true gift, however flawed, I will always be grateful for the scars I have left, of course I don't mind them, they remind me several people saved my life one average Tuesday night after teaching,  Too busy to notice I was really quite sick.

2 weeks later its June and I was back teaching in Cyprus, scars barely healed but able to complete the Full Mat work albeit gently, that's the true gift of Mr Pilates work, if the exercises are in your body, your body will use them to heal you when you most need them to. July was a conference in Valencia, run by the too fabulous +TonyBalongo http://www.valenciaclassicalpilates.com/ Whilst there I got to see the ever lovely +BrookeSiler again but also got to meet someone who would inspire just a little gift of hope in me on those days when it all gets a bit over whelming and scary out there in Pilates land, +KathiRossNash exudes an energy and passion for Pilates which is truly infectious, she also makes me smile, and I love her for it.

In August I turned 40 in NYC and did ballet barre classes like no Ballet classes I've ever experienced before, I'm not sure I ever want to meet those muscles again in my lifetime, I met +CareyRegan http://www.reabnyc.com/instructors_Bio.asp?ID=51318377 who simply told me to spread my wings and let go, whilst talking to my mother about her cat.

September was back to teaching Retreats in Cyprus and finally returning to Casperia where I have never laughed so much, ever, being locked out at midnight during a storm being a truly memorable moment. Nothing like being in a scene from Ab Fab and realizing its a scene from your actual life. I also started my Classical training with +AlisonGoodman at http://www.pilatesnation.co.uk/ .In truth my brain is fried with all the extra learning I'm trying to absorb but then I just hear Carey's and Kathi's words and I beat those wings a little harder and hope I dont land too hard on my tush. And finally in November I found myself in Florence two days after my divorce was finalized, How is it such a perfect, beautiful City seemed so vast, overwhelming and frightening, thank goodness for =DeborahLessen and +FrancescaBertoni at http://www.bodybalancestudio.it/pilates.html and Prosecco!

And already its December, This year I've continued to be a volunteer with The Mayhew Animal Home and cried too many tears over our ridiculous Breed specific legislation. I've restored a company (no idea how I managed that) I've finally got my way after three years of legal dullness when a Barrister, and I quote, finally gave in just to get rid of the 'annoying little girl'. And I ended a marriage, knowing your doing the right thing doesn't always make it pain free or less exhausting. My eldest cat died suddenly one spring night, my youngest dog just had his knee reconstructed and is currently the reincarnation of Tigger when he is supposed to be rehabilitating steadily, my Grandmother developed Bone Cancer and still got herself to Brighton for Christmas at The Grand Hotel, that learning curve was last seen heading towards a Galaxy far, far, away. I've had a year of friends caring and not caring, I've had fabulous clients reminding me of just what it is I'm destined to do. I've had Sleep restored by thoughts of Unicorns and girlfriends there to remind me its not a rehearsal, I've also had a mother telling me to eat. But that's it, as this year draws to an end I'm reminded that every mistake, misunderstanding, memory (good and bad), and magical moment were exactly as they were meant to be, perhaps more profoundly, when I couldn't decide between an Angel, Pegasus or Unicorn for my next Tattoo someone unwittingly made the decision for me. Well after all, 'Life is too important to be taken seriously' Mr Wilde, you are so right.

Happy New Year to All that are walking the walk and spreading those wings,

Suzy x

A man called Toto....

Its an underpass, covered in Graffiti, the kind found in a lot of Italy, bold, aggressive. A little look closer however, and you realise its actually artwork, images and words I'm sure the local community understand much better than me, that said I'm uneasy in this rabbit warren but somethings different, I can hear opera, loud, glorious, unapologetic and compelling, I can also smell incense. Its then I'm introduced to Toto, he's a man that's lived several lives in one, he is homeless, I'm not sure if he lives in the underpass but he directs the ambiance, the hustle and the bustle with the elegance of a concert pianist. He makes an area you would normally rush to get through an oasis in the blindness of day to day routine. He hands me some incense, a gift from a stranger to a stranger and I am deeply humbled and feeling just a little foolish in Florence.

So here I am in a city I once visited 20 years ago, I've barely breathed since my divorce came through. I hate flying, I'm anxious in groups of people I don't know, I don't know where I'm staying or how to get there and I'm not sure I want to spend two days thinking about Pilates, and then I meet Toto and everything finds its place. I'm here to study with +DeborahLessen courtesy of  +FrencescaBertoni of https://www.facebook.com/www.bodybalancestudio.it . I'm the only participant from the UK, everyone else is Italian or Dutch. Deborah is here post knee surgery and amazingly sharp and generous given the jet lag she must have been feeling and the challenges of a recovering knee. I'm staying in a B&B which is actually a delightful couples house where they let rooms, no hotel anonymity for me, just a delightful rotund cat and a toy poodle living in fear of her. Its a strange thing taking yourself out of your comfort zone, forgetting that others will find my being vegan odd and simply say so. Cue the Prosecco and a tantrum when the waiter serves it in a sherry glass, 'Please bring me a grown up glass' I heard myself say (I'm a little stressed!). Francesca is a delight and a truly passionate Pilates soul with a beautiful studio, generous spirit and could not have made things easier for me and those attending, although I have to say moving equipment via a horse box (straw included) was a unique, magical and somewhat surreal moment.

After two days taking in the wisdom of Deborah http://www.deborahlessenpilates.com/green_street.php and learning albeit with creative hand signalling from the other participants I spent a third day just walking through a magical city, taking in its beauty, its warmth and its elegance. I'd survived taking myself out of my comfort zone, no harm done. I met new people, collided head on with other cultures (yes I can really help lift a reformer), I drank Prosecco in grown up glasses and waited 45 minutes for a bath to fill (who knew the art of learning patience was in the bubbles all along), I learnt I could fly alone without the Captain having to divert the plane due to passenger hysteria. I learnt that being a vegan is confusing to some, And?! but most of all I learnt that a man called Toto was the lesson I was really meant to take, that in the places that often fill you with fear, where there are so many exits you don't know which one to take, where sometimes you have to go underneath where you are comfortable and feel safe to cross to the other side, that all you have to do is stop and listen. Because music to lift your soul is playing somewhere, you just have to tune the rest of the noise out to stand a chance of hearing it.

Pilates love and energy as always....

Suzy x
www.seraphinapilates.com

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. -Hilary Cooper....

Since the age of 13 and my first Tap class I have loved to move. My mother says I was always happy to walk miles even from small, apparently I also had a certifiable Great aunt who also liked to walk everywhere but more of that later, perhaps it's in the blood or perhaps I just haven't worked out where I'm trying to get to yet? In any case I love to move, I like to fidget and I get distracted easily. I should clarify I do not like to move fast (I'm not keen on sweating or over heating) but I can always find something to do, it might just take me a while to get there.

And so there is some irony in the fact that I managed a career as a Dancer and now teach Pilates without actually breathing for most of it. I cue it, I discuss it, I understand its importance, I just don't do it! There I've said it and its out there, I do not like to breathe deeply and now I finally know why. I recently sat in on a breathing seminar and had one of those lightening bolt moments whilst looking at the size and structure of the diaphragm and suddenly it hit me. I'd been trying to control that muscle like everything else, within an inch of its very important life. But when we limit this delicious, fabulous muscle we limit all our other muscles too, and then wander why our bodies ache?! In an effort to control, redefine and perfect I have been only giving myself half a chance of really feeling the benefits that breathing and living can bring. Depressed people take less breathes, people in love with life take more- its not rocket science, breathing keeps us alive, so if we want to feel alive we need to pay more attention to it, well at least I do.

It is so easy to get caught up with everyone else's lives, needs and expectations that we forget to look at our own. Ever noticed how your breathing changes without you thinking about it? when your angry, panicking, laughing or when you have literally had your breath taken away by an unexpected encounter. Our hearts sit so closely to our lungs that the movement of the lungs must have a positive effect on the heart, I don't need a research paper to tell me that. And so my homework has been to notice my breathing and be conscious of its effects on my body and mind, to control less and move more, I'm probably still not going to sweat but I'm going to have lots of fun trying. As for my Great Aunt who not only walked endlessly but also drank with Sailor's, sang, danced and had tattoos, well she undoubtedly caused lots of people to stop breathing at times but she was simply to busy living and laughing to notice. Personally, clear the tables people Its time to take a deep breath and dance....

Keep dancing on the tables all......Suzy x

www.seraphinapilates.com

Finding the Classical path to letting go...

Baxter

Ok, I admit it, I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious. I'm also loving my new training, learning a lot and being pushed to every limit of my being currently in my real life. I'm a Pilates teacher, that does not make me indestructible, impervious to sadness or always able to know what to do. I have two great loves, Pilates and Animal Welfare, the more I learn about both, the more I'm inspired and the more frustrated I get when small things blur the bigger picture.

Since starting the course I've had the joy of working along side some new trainee teachers and be trained by some truly passionate and gifted ones. The generosity of individuals to preserve and keep alive our great technique is truly humbling and awesome, and I think in some ways the fact that my co trainees find it baffling that I still get teaching stage fright even if it is amusing to watch. I think its easy for those of us who have taught for so long to forget how far our journey has taken us and just how much we have learnt and have yet to learn. You see the more I understand the Classical approach to Pilates the more I'm interested in understanding everyone's perspective on the work, because new isn't always wrong, its just different. Having recently read 'Your Health' written in the 30's there is a very different feel to the work in 'Return to Life' written in the 40's and perhaps that's the point the work we do is always going to have a different view, it just depends which lookout you are positioned on and perhaps even which decade..

And so it seems with the day to day effort to keep Life full of life and as I prepare the teaching schedule up to Christmas, I barely have time to consider the previous year. I had the most amazing time in Italy with an amazing group of Pilates devotees, I really have not laughed like that in a long time, I am truly, truly grateful to those who made it such an awesome experience, even if I did find myself unexpectedly rescuing a poodle one morning, once an animal advocate, always an animal advocate even when at work it seems. 

Since returning my life has been classes, training, legal deadlock with a Freeholder, VAT dilemmas, unhappy tenants, volunteering at my local animal shelter and divorce and now a sick dog with joint problems. Enter my dog Baxter who is my calm in the storm, but now he hurts and never complains and my heart aches for him. My quiet companion who belongs to a so so called devil breed otherwise known as Bull breeds has rescued my soul from the overwhelming grief of losing my beloved dog Honey to Cancer last September, his quiet grace and humor compels me to slow down and chase leaves occasionally...and so it is with admitting that sometimes I get overwhelmed, I say the wrong things to loved ones and to friends, I sometimes forget to reply to emails and voicemail's or update my website, but in case someone doesn't notice because I'm busy being  the strong, capable one, sometimes I just need a little grace too, a little time and understanding, after all its Just Pilates and I'm just a Pilates teacher learning to let go. But rest assured  I promise not to lick your face in gratitude, even if I am forever grateful.

Keep up the Pilates journey....

Suzy 

www.seraphinapilates.com

Unity in Diversity....

This post was originally meant to be about my recent New York Pilates exploits, about going to Barre Classes expecting to exercise like a swan and instead doing butt busting plies to loud aerobics music resembling a blindfolded duck! It was going to focus on meeting Carey Regan at http://www.reabnyc.com/home.asp and the wonderful insight she gave me into her experience of Pilates, 'Its just Pilates' she said to me 'do less and have fun!' I nodded my head like one of the dogs you see in the windows of cars, I threw my arms around as if Makarova herself was dancing inside my head. I worked through the exercises and I screeched as Carey pushed and pulled me until I simply gave up resisting and eventually found my way. In truth I knew very little about Carey before meeting her, other than the fact that she came highly recommended from people I respect and that, quite honestly, was enough.

 



However, this week as the Pilates World lost Romana Kryzanowska and Julian Littleford I am not only saddened by the passing of these individuals but deeply saddened by some of the bickering and squabbling I have observed on social media Forums. I did not know either of these people personally I can however, appreciate the loss to the family and friends left behind. As such I  do not understand some of the posts I have witnessed amongst so called 'Pilates professionals'. From what I can observe Romana along with several other 'Elders' helped Pilates become the success it is today, a legacy reaching far and wide across the globe. a life well lived and champagne often appreciated. In the case of Julian who I watched in interview with Alan Herdman online, I observed a generous, humorous man, passionate about Pilates and his family, I had hoped to cross his path at some point, sadly not to be. His death at 53 was untimely and to many truly devastating, the death of my own father at 45 taught me from an early age that even the apparently young, fit and healthy sometimes get taken too soon. Death is a time for appropriate reverence not playground bitching.

And so as I have read the references to Pilates in terms of a 'Family', 'Industry', 'Business' or 'Corporation' the thing I observe least is 'Community'. Perhaps my position is naïve, where there are people there will always be differences of perspective and opinion, where there are lawsuits there will always be one side arguing for and one side arguing against. But I fear, caught in the middle are those just wanting to enjoy, benefit from and appreciate Pilates. No wonder teachers become frustrated and despondent when they see those they admire openly venting their spleens. To that end perhaps there is just reason to feel aggrieved and angry over events or history but I truly believe not all platforms and times are appropriate, but then that's just my 'rose tinted' opinion. To my own end and continued development  I will continue to train with as many people as I can from as many different schools of thought as possible, because as a wise teacher once said 'Its just Pilates, move more and have fun' and perhaps the most poignant memory of my trip to  NYC will be of visiting the African Memorial where I found the symbol below....and yes I am having it tattooed for all to see. For me it say's it all.

Keep up the Pilates passion,
Suzy x



Reflection on Time...

Sometimes our past experiences catch up with us, sometimes they open up old wounds and sometimes they bring great joy, often times they leave us with more questions than answers. But the one thing thats guaranteed is that life's experiences will take us forward, willingly or kicking and screaming, time however, will not wait for us to gather our thoughts, to be ready or to fully prepare, it moves forward regardless....

I love August, its a month where work is quieter, London is easy to navigate, days are generally warmer and I have the time to be less structured in my day to day comings and goings. This Year I unexpectedly also got to meet up with a friend I hadn't seen in over 17 years. We had a coffee and in spite of some difficult previous history, it seemed like no time had passed, we were simply the friends we were before life got complicated, 90 minutes later and he was on the move again, heading back to his wife and daughter, a joy to see, a future I doubt he would have predicted 17 years ago. I was fearful of going back, but in doing so we both moved forward, a leap of faith ending in a happy encounter. I've also been struck this week by the number of parents waiting for their children's exam results and parents preparing to send their children off on their next adventures. Their emotion has been heartfelt and at times a little heart breaking to see but in the end I also see 'children' (and by that I mean all of us with parents still looking out for us however old we are) ready to take their next steps with a sense of adventure, courage and confidence capable of riding the unpredictable wave of experience that lies before them. So as I use the quieter time to organize the remaining years schedule I'm struck with how far I, and many around me have come. When it would have been easier to give up based on previous experiences the answer has been to open up more and allow ourselves to experience more, to express fears instead of pretending we are fearless, to express frustration instead of turning inwards and above all to learn to say No to things that are likely to have a negative impact on our lives, but more importantly to say Yes to opportunities, even when fear is trying its best to shoot us down before we have even started.
So to the scars and wounds of experience I salute you, you remind me of the battles and the hurdles to get to today, this moment, this time, for helping me discover a true love for Pilates, a passion for the generous learning and for all teachers I have encountered on my journey so far, and for the understanding that the only reason we attain knowledge is to share it, and to those teachers who think its theirs to hold onto, I wish you luck because its like a trying to create a Martini without the shaker, you might have all the ingredients but you will never know how to truly bring its potential together, and only truly unique teachers know when and how to shake, mix the add the olive.......as for me I'm off to practice my Martini roll down against the wall, is it possible? I dont know, am I having a lot of fun doing it and teaching it, yes. Sometimes the only way to make peace with the day is with laughter, there are endless reasons to cry...try instead to find the moments that make you laugh, you might just find that roll down possible after all....

Sometimes you just need a drink with your fruit!

Keep walking, rolling and cart wheeling the Pilates path,

With love,

Suzy

www.seraphinapilates.com

Backward rolls and sexy cats in Valencia....

Every now and then the stars align and send you somewhere they know you need to be. I'm awkward, I've never really fitted anyway 100%, I was a child that preferred her own company, I was never cool, a rotund, quiet and uncool presence, fitting in just wasn't on the agenda. I became a performer with a morbid fear of performing having been told at college that perhaps I should consider the plumbing course instead of the dance one. I soon discovered I enjoyed the process of movement, I loved rehearsing, exploring, playing, I loved double work and even being dropped from heights. I loved flying through space. I was strong but never flexible, on reflection dancing was never going to be an easy path but I just loved the emotional freedom movement gave me. I'm grateful for those years, in spite of the heartache and the legacy of poor body image, I met my two closest friends. That in itself ,makes it all worthwhile, not to mention meeting my husband  too!

Time out with my husband in Valencia after a day of Pilates!

And then two years ago on a trip to NYC, on advice from a fellow Pilates teacher I went to re:AB Pilates http://www.reabnyc.com/ I had a 1-1 session with +BrookeSiler , on  previous trips I had not had the courage to take class in NYC fearing I wasn't good enough and would just embarrass myself (even after 10 years of teaching Pilates), I had always felt lacking because of my lack of Studio apprenticeship training. I needn't have worried as the generous, fun and vivacious energy that Brooke gave me was all about discovering what I could do and leaving the negativity of ingrained over analysis and judgement at the door. I discovered that perhaps Teaser was possible in my body, I just had to change tactics and perspective. I left knowing my teaching would never be the same again but more importantly with a passion for Pilates re awakened in a way that blind sided me. I will be forever grateful for this brief encounter.

Two years on and randomly through Facebook I heard about the Classical Pilates Conference in Valencia http://www.valenciaclassicalpilates.com/  Now as I mentioned before I'm awkward in groups, nervous around people I don't know but Brooke was one of the presenters and this was too good an opportunity to miss, and so with my husband coming along as company (to keep me in Caipirinha's etc) I went to my first Pilates conference. And so it was I met the other presenters +KathiRoss-Nash and +PeterFiasca , along side Brooke these three teachers took us all through three days of Classical Pilates.
.
Peter's energy is calm, clear and technical conveying a deep love and knowledge of Joseph Pilates legacy but nothing could have prepared me for the energetic, unstoppable whirlwind that is Kathi, she alone is a reason to take up drinking Vodka, regularly! (on the assumption that my Pilates would of course be improved) Session One had us being sexy cats and slutty cats and rolling down picking up imaginary martini's, that's it - Finally I found somewhere I fitted in as a teacher (if you have read the previous blog on dancing stegosauruses you will appreciate this epiphany) .We sweated, laughed, collided and grown men definitely cried through the Mat classes taught at the beginning and end of days, everyone left full of energy, vibrant and full of life, and surely that's the point, as Pilates teachers/students shouldn't we always leave workshops, seminars and lectures full of answers and even more questions that we can then use  to inspire our own clients? Instead of finding reasons to restrict, analyse and reign them in more, filling them with fear of their bodies and moving we should be freeing them up, after all, just because 1 in 3 of us likely to experience cancer in our lifetime doesn't mean we should treat everyone with the thought that they might already have it, surely?!

I left the conference with renewed energy, not withstanding various new aches and some new friends but also  a burning need to learn more and more and with the notion that perhaps one day I would actually be able to do a cartwheel, if not before my 40th birthday next month then at least in my 40th year...So as I approach my birthday I cant wait to start a studio apprenticeship in September, although equipment qualified I have never felt my training gave me the full understanding that an apprenticeship would allow me, much like learning choreograhy from Labanotation or video never compared to rehearsing in a studio. Up until now I never wanted to teach on equipment as I never felt it was fully in my bones and muscles, and so finally I'm taking the time to explore, play and inevitably fall of the Wunda chair, and because just maybe instead of being the shy insecure cat (my classes are never going to believe this description!) I might finally become a sexy one and maybe even become a better Pilates teacher in the process.

With sincere thanks to Brooke Siler, Kathi Ross-Nash, Peter Fiasca and Tony Balongo for an amazing event, roll on 2014!

Keep Cart wheeling everyone...

Suzy x

If you knew the plane was going to crash would you still get on it?....
Ok so I admit it, I'm being a little provocative here, the answer is of course No. The original question a friend actually asked me was, 'If you knew a plane had a 90% chance of crashing would you still get on it?'. Now things start to become a little more interesting after all you now have a 10% chance of arriving safely. Not liking my odds (or flying that much) I had to admit I would not get on, even if the Prosecco and peanuts were included as part of the in-flight service and Bradley Cooper was the Pilot!.

The whole discussion came about over the recent debate surrounding breast cancer and preemptive surgery http://www.cancerresearchuk.org/cancer-help/type/breast-cancer/about/risks/breast-cancer-genes Angelina Jolie brought news of her recent elected double mastectomy to the world table and with it an outpouring of both praise and criticism. I have read comments claiming that these procedures are nothing more than anti feminist actions aimed at disempowering women, I personally have never perceived my breasts as holding any particular super powers? I  have heard the very issue of genetics questioned with the same conspiracy fever that Area 51 followers exhibit. But in the end (Yes I'm proud to say I am actually a feminist who does shave their legs and wear high heels if anyone actually cares) it comes down to women and men having the right to know if they are at a higher risk of developing breast or Ovarian Cancer. I understand Melissa Etheridges very public statement (she is a breast cancer survivor herself) but to label preemptive surgery as 'a fearful choice'  is at best misguided and at worst dangerous. Ms jolie, and many like her will have taken time and consideration regarding such drastic surgery eventually deciding it was a 'proactive' alternative in trying to  ensure a greater chance of extending life. http://www.nytimes.com/2013/05/14/opinion/my-medical-choice.html?_r=0 I've lost many friends and clients to Cancer, each journey different, all painful.

In the end only the person can decide whats right for them, but everyone deserves the choice, sadly thats not yet currently the case, Perhaps then the world of celebrity can bring the weight of this issue to the public arena, if needs be in high heels and sequins but whichever way, lets not close the lid on the box now the discussion is out there. And so it is with Teaching, I'm always trying to guide people through possibilities so that in the end the client can decide what the right choices are in their lives. In this last month my beloved Elder cat died, I was hospitalized and underwent surgery, I ran a Pilates Holiday in Cyprus (2 weeks post Op) and lost a friend to Throat Cancer, he had been told in 1981 he would be dead of AIDS in 6 months, he didn't like his odds so he got the next plane out, it just happened to be 22 years later. Rene was inspiring, vibrant and grabbed hold of Life with the most amazing tenacity. We met as Volunteers for the Foodchain www.foodchain.org.uk around 1994, he taught me things about the Gay club scene that I never knew I needed to know, or will ever forget!, he thought me wearing high heels in the kitchen was fabulous and he taught me lunch without wine was simply not lunch.

In truth its been a tough month but perhaps thats the point, life keeps going. Mr Tomas (the cat) quietly crossed the bridge whilst I wasn't looking or worrying, René's heart did exactly the same thing sparing himself and those he loved the indignity of a tortured end. The wonderful people I met in Cyprus brought such positive energy to the Holiday how could I not feel a greater passion and for what I do? My classes and clients have been incredibly supportive watching me literally re-piece my body back together post surgery...Friends have driven me crazy, just enough to keep me sane. So I for one will be happy to wait for the next Plane out, fearful or not,  proactive or not, its all just a game of Odds, the most important thing it would seem is how you choose to play the game....

2 Weeks post Op, a lifetimes work in progress!

Keep up the practice and Love,

Suzy

www.seraphinapilates.com

Eyore's headstand and an appendix in withdrawal...

Moonwalk 2013

In all honesty I had thought my next post would be about the London Moonwalk 2013. Taking part last weekend with 17,000 women and men was as expected an inspiring event to be part of and besides which Mum and I raised over £900 for charities supporting those affected by breast cancer, both my grandmothers have had mastectomies and one still lives with the disease, I have heard countless arguments suggesting that Breast cancer gets a disproportionate amount of funding and attention, I have heard arguments against the pink ribbon and its prettifying of a brutal, cruel disease. I've heard women prepared to have their scars photographed vilified and criticised. My answer to all this to participate in a walk and support however I can because until those who criticise walk in someone else's shoes quite honestly their judgement falls on deaf ears.

After the walk I was unusually shattered, I'm pretty resilient but I couldn't shake off a feeling of unwellness, Monday and Tuesday were both normal days, I took part in advanced studio classes but after teaching Tuesday evening I knew something was wrong...so off I trotted to St Charles Urgent care doctor, who kindly reassured me but sent me on St Mary's Hospital, Paddington. The odd thing about this whole process was it never really occurred I would be admitted (I drove after all), I suspected my appendix was unhappy but assumed anti biotics would be given, 4am Wednesday morning I was sat on a ward desperately trying to borrow a blackberry charger (nurse Sally I am indebted to you) and so the most surreal 24 hours unfolded, animals at home alone, a car needing to be moved before 8.30am, thankfully taken care of by mum and dad in the middle of the night and early hours. I was told that in spite of my apparent health and excellent blood results (that always confuses surgeons as vegans are meant to always be ill and deficient) within 48 hours I would be significantly less well. After X-rays, an ultra scan and endless prodding, bloods, cannula's (I hate blood being taken) and more importantly no tea I was added to the list for Surgery.

Now Tea is pivotal here as I'm hyper sensitive to it and although I don't drink that much If I don't have it, after 8 hours I hit serious withdrawal, by the time my lovely friend Amanda arrived at 7pm wed evening I still hadn't gone in for surgery and I had a banging migraine, was sweating and vomiting. The appendix discomfort was nothing compared to hitting an impromptu rehab scenario, Tetley's you have a lot to answer for! I even remember asking the anaesthetist for a caffeine drip instead of Tramadol, he sympathised, laughed and sent me into a scene of Pooh bear and Eyore doing a hand stand, I remember drifting and wondering if I'd ever do corkscrew again.....

I hate needles!

I woke up convinced I was in a Stephen King novel, and it appeared that the Tramadol I had turned down was for the diaphragm spasms that no one had warned me about, lasting on and off for 24 hours!....come back appendix all is forgiven, I have never breathed that deeply or laterally, EVER! at that point I realise my abdominals appear to have been removed during surgery....that was not expected, I'm pulling in and literally nothing is happening. Keep calm and keep focused my calm voice tells me, F***, F***, F***! my other voice is screaming. The warm glass of water someone offered me in recovery was the greatest thing I have ever drunk as was my first cup of tea!. 8 hours later I have been sent home. In the meantime my husband flew back from Portugal to help out (a great sign of friendship given our current situation), as everyone who knows me will appreciate I do not like accepting help, I'm strong, independent and stubborn however, there is something very humbling about not being able to walk up and down a flight of stairs, lift a kettle or get up from lying down (I told you they had removed my abs, roll ups are but a dream)

So really this blog is a thank you to the amazing staff at St Marys, most of whom my path crossed for only a few moments but whom work tirelessly within the NHS to ensure people whose lives are suddenly upturned feel safe, protected and listened to. This institution should be outside of Politics, its something that Britons should be extremely proud of and protect at all costs. I saw people working with reduced resources, working past their shifts and showing dedication far beyond their duty. To those who took time out to send well wishes they meant more than you realise, to those friends who asked for updates at any hour you cannot imagine how this helped keep my nerves down and raised a smile or two in the darkness, to Amanda, Georgina and of course the charming +BenCullinger who continues to answer my ongoing questions with quiet humour and will shortly I'm sure make the most wonderful doctor, I am convinced, thank you.

As for me 3 days on I'm moving more each day, back to teaching with just my voice from tomorrow...I've loved the messages assuming I'm going to be easier in class just because my own abs are on sabbatical...like that's going to happen, reread the stubborn paragraph above....I'm back on full strength tea so now so anything really is possible....

Much love all,
Suzy x

Warning...this blog may make you sweat!

So I've just come back from running my first Pilates Retreat of the year in Italy. The group was a fab mix of people who have known me for years and friends and family of aforementioned participants. so this is where it always gets interesting for me when I meet new people, people invariably start with the line ' I've heard all about you, I've heard your tough...scary...relentless....picky' but by far  the best comment I have heard this year whilst discussing someone's previous Pilates experience was 'I dont like strength work, its too hard' so now I'm intrigued, how exactly had this person been able to get away with regular Pilates sessions without doing any strength work?!

A medieval stair master!

I appreciate the sentiment, in truth I would like to spend endless hours doing long, deep stretches, its what my part feline DNA craves but in truth that would get me nowhere, as my teacher brain reminds myself regularly. So why are some teachers still providing clients with what they want and not what they need? Sadly I see this time and time again, particularly where clients are older, teachers look at the age of the client and not the body and health of the client. Is there some magic line we cross from 49 into 50, 59 into 60 or 69 into 70? If there is I've yet to identify it and as such I teach to make people stronger- regardless of age. In all honesty  I'm not there to let them just exercise their jaws (though of course we do that too!)

As a consequence the client who didn't like strength work but who rose to the challenge and pushed herself to try did fantastically well over the 3 days, and yes, she sweated and yes her muscles ached the following day but as I reminded her the last time she had been aware of them was probably 40 years earlier giving birth! I often have people say to me 'just so your aware, I'm sweating' like its something they should be suspicious of or concerned about. I reassure them its just a sign of hard work and effort, I do concede that  I do have to be prompted to put the air conditioning on as my Gecko blood does not register heat and classes can become very 'Bikram' without me realizing it, but my guys know this and usually prompt me straight after Criss cross!

So we had a great time working hard, walking up endless steps, drinking Prosecco (to recover from the steps) and in my case riding horses daily, and yes I did ache and my ability to do a roll end seemed to evacuate my body with the speed of an Arab Stallion on too many oats, but thats the point of the Retreat, which is actually a Holiday pretending to be meaningful. We all put ourselves out of our comfort zones and all came back stronger, healthier and in the case of one of my girls able to fit back into her favorite skirt despite eating breakfast everyday. Perhaps the sweating was useful after all?!....but just to be sure I'm heading to Cyprus next month to teach my next Pilates Holiday, after all, better to be sure.

Mid back, inner thighs and definitely sit bones, oh and a very happy Me!

Have a great weekend all....

Suzy x

www.seraphinapilates.com

https://www.facebook.com/seraphina.pilates.retreats

Resuscitating Pilates....

So last weekend I finally got round to updating my First Aid certificate and in truth had my Insurance not been dependent on it I would probably still be trying to find the right time to fit it in. Sadly we live in a society which doesn't promote it in schools, colleges or University and for many as adults unless they have been required to, First Aid is something you hope someone else with apply should the need ever arise.

Lipstick ready!

Fortunately courtesy of the lovely +TishaHarrington who runs the gorgeous Pilates and Gyrotonic studio at www.kingscrossstudios.co.uk I got myself enrolled, even the dog was there to say good morning. I have done several course's over the years, some more intensive than others but most presented with humor and humility, recognizing not everyone will be able to actually do CPR but everyone should at least know how, on these courses the biggest thing we are reminded of is the value of reassurance and compassion to another human being. Its always personal when I do these courses, I have had to do first aid at 2 motor cycle accidents, I directed traffic at one and ended up covered in blood at another, I dont believe he survived but I hope my clumsy words meant he didn't feel alone or frightened. I dealt with a hit and run where a woman's leg was broken, the hardest thing here was getting someone to hold onto my dog's lead! I've dealt with couriers passing  out, whilst cycling- next time perhaps he will not party quite so hard and leave without breakfast, and this week as is always the case after I update my certificate I discovered someone laid out after a fall- so now you know why I'm always apprehensive after a course.

The issue here is it doesn't matter if your good at these situations, I generally revert to a distressed toddler at the thought of having a holiday vaccination, it just matters that you try. less than one in ten people who stop breathing outside of hospital will receive CPR, people are literally dying because people dont know what to do. Of course there are times when it will make a difference only to those left behind, my mother will be forever grateful for the men who tried to resuscitate my father who died at 45. She herself was a first aider and worked in a hospital but sometimes we are just too close. Perhaps this is why I left the biggest lipstick mark on Rescue Annie  and compressed with unstoppable ardor last weekend, the lipstick mark would have made my dad smile for sure, if only for the course leaders expression at the glossy red display. Apparently I give excellent mouth to mouth! Well sometimes even dark humor can lighten the mood!

So if you don't know what to do if someone stops breathing, if you dont know to do compressions even if you cant do mouth to mouth. If you don't know what to do in the silence as someone chokes then sign up for a course sooner rather than later. We work tirelessly to keep our clients fit and healthy but what happens if one day they really do need to breathe, would you feel confident knowing what to do?, would you be ok with doing nothing?. In this area I really am an expert, doing something may just save a life or bring a little piece of mind to those you have to see after the drama long subsides....though to be fair I'm going to skip the 'How to deliver a baby' section....someone put the kettle on and get some towels.

Keep well, Keep healthy and Pilates on....

Suzy x

www.seraphinapilates.com

Please like our page on Facebook https://www.facebook.com/seraphina.pilates.retreats or follow me on Twitter https://twitter.com/suzyseraphina

Stegosaurus Show girls....and this is why I'm unemployable!

Expect rain and you get 28 degrees in Rome!

I was fortunate enough to attend a workshop with +AlyceaUngaro earlier this year and part of the day was dedicated to language and how we use it as teachers, now once I'd got past the inevitable embarrassment of not being able to determine between adjectives, nouns and verbs, what can I say I get confused...It really made me think. We know as teachers that its not just our words that hold information but the way we demonstrate the exercises, the way we cue with our hands in contact and yes, I admit it, I do hold peoples pony tails up (please don't tell the PC police). But ultimately its our words that find our way into peoples subconsciousness. I'm genuinely pleased when people tell me they could hear my voice whilst they were brushing their teeth reminding them to stand taller, having established their not having a multiple personality episode first of course.

And so it came to be recently that late on a thursday evening my intermediate group found themselves being Show girl Stegosauruses'. You see such was my train of thought simply being a dinosaur wasn't enough, they had to be beautiful, show girl dinosaurs. By now you either have your head in your hands or are smiling, I very much hope its the latter so bear with me....I have no idea where this came from or indeed why it worked, I never never seen my group be so mindful of how their backs were working but in choosing an image so obscure both their imagination and neural paths and mine were both fired up. Their was no familiarity or complacency with this image because they didn't anticipate it, and I realized that perhaps when we suspend our habits, intellectually, physically, emotionally we can start to see our bodies as being capable of so much more than our self imposed barriers and habits allow?

More importantly however, they laughed, I laughed at myself and we all moved with more power and grace (well after all performing dinosaurs are both aren't they) I did however recollect the time a very good friend, client and mentor one day uttered the statement  'Suzy I think your wonderful, but you are utterly unemployable', I simply cannot follow one view on things,  at that moment as I packed the kit up and left the studio I suddenly and finally understood what she meant, and its the very thing and clients and classes respond to. From one week to the next they don't know if they are getting insights from workshop's I've attended or readings straight from 'Return to Life' but they do know that I will challenge them to think outside their own expectations, after all a man who wanted us to be seals couldn't really have a problem with us being dinosaurs occasionally could he? I do hope not because the class really did breathe and move beautifully....

Have a great weekend all and remember heads high and swish those tails....

Suzy x

www.seraphinapilates.com

Join me in Italy and Cyprus for my Pilates Retreats http://www.seraphinapilates.com/pilatesbreaks.html

I also write for www.fightingfifty.co.uk ,occasionally play on FB and appear as @suzyseraphina on Twitter

I'm well aware my derriere is soggy....connection, what connection?!

So there it is, I admit it, my gluts do not 'fire', most of the time, I know its radical but as a Pilates teacher who talks daily ad nauseam about connections between inner thighs, gluts, deep abdominals etc, the reality is, mine appear to be an enigma to myself and to most of teachers who teach me....Today the poor cover teacher who taught me experienced the dilemma so many before her had attempted to unravel...

I'm always open to being taught by new teachers as I truly believe everyone has something to bring to the table of teaching, established teachers have the benefit of experience and confidence, new teachers often have enthusiasm and fresh eyes, and with each one I hope the answer to the Holy Grail of my unresponsive backside will be answered....sadly today was not the day and one more teacher was left bewildered and confused....

I honestly tried to reassure her it was not her fault, her enthusiastic yet inevitable cue's of  'draw in, draw up', 'heels together', 'connect the hamstrings', and 'lengthen more' did not magically make them awaken. I concede Footwork on the reformer finds a hint of them and Knee Stretches definitely does not, quad burn anyone?! but before you shout 'but your obviously not doing it right' at this post please appreciate I have been observed by the best and still they smile, wrinkle their brow and say 'but it should work?' My point is the teacher covering was charming and absolutely knew her stuff but sometimes the script has to be changed, sometimes as teachers we have to change our cues, expectations and assumptions or simply allow an exercise not to work (life does not end because I cant make Up-stretch happen)

Thankfully not one to give up my regular teacher  takes on the challenge that is my bodies biomechanic uniqueness, with creativity and humor along with  the Wunda chair, high chair and spine corrector in all their multiple configurations we work on....where there's a will theres apparently a way to find a thigh to butt connection. And to this end I return each week to continue the search for less sogginess. Most of the time however, the connections are found when I kick back a bit (excuse the hip extensor pun) when I laugh at myself and yes fall off the Wunda chair attempting an exercise I've not done before, because often when I don't have time to over analyze my body's 'failings' it seems to know exactly what to do, so perhaps, just maybe my body's not so bad at knowing what to do after all!

It seems the key to a pert bottom is not to be obsessed with it!

Thanks for reading, Have a great week all!

Suzy x

www.seraphinapilates.com

Join Suzy on FB, Twitter and even on a Pilates Retreat in Italy or Cyprus! (go to the website for more info!)

A Vital learning curve....

So March has been full of madness, not quite of the sunny bunny type but there is still time. We survived four days at the London Vitality Show and I developed a new found respect for people who stand all day, after 11 hours on the first day my body and back ached, this was a test of physical and mental stamina I had not anticipated, I move and fidget a lot day to day and here I was standing in the same place for four days! But as the snow came down outside I watched as individuals, companies and small businesses pulled the show together. I got to meet some fab people including +RonnieGreen from http://www.bodymap.co/ the first London Fletcher Pilates studio, it was awesome to have a studio set up that I could send people to have a look at. I spoke to so many people who did Pilates but had no idea of the studio works existence or who were indeed intimidated by it.

I met the wonderful team at Global Fusion (vegan cakes to die for) they are far too busy to do the whole social media stuff so you wil just have to find them at the Brixton farmers market! The lovely +ColleenHarte who introduced me to https://www.lucyannabella.com/ as well as the fab niki from http://www.nikisbalms.co.uk/ , the ever gorgeous +RachealOgario from http://www.ogariolondon.com/ their products are now seeing me through a rather unpleasant chest infection. (well thats what I get for planning a holiday weekend!) More importantly however, the smiles and generous advice these people gave me made the whole event a survivable experience. The opportunity to talk to so many people was fascinating, I just wish I had been on commission for the amount of times I heard the words 'My Pilates teacher is fantastic, wonderful, inspiring' etc. It can be isolating if you are not based in a studio and to hear so many wonderful things from people doing Pilates is truly motivating....sadly I also met people who had had less than professional experiences and I just hope I helped people feel inspired to try Pilates again, the description 'boring' should never be in the same sentence as a Pilates class.

I talked to the fab +GillOwen of http://www.lovestretch.co.uk/ who duly helped me fulfill my shopping fix with her amazing clothes, I fear I now have another online shop to add to my addiction, Just because I'm a Pilates teacher  does not mean I want to parade around looking like a walking Nike advert! this site is the perfect answer! Apparently I'm quite strict when I teach (i never want to go back to teaching open classes again after Vitality!!!) as I said to Gill its all about positive crowd control, I also now appreciate how well behaved my own classes are (well almost)

So there is one more thank you to make  +DeborahLessen http://www.deborahlessenpilates.com/ who's workshop and class in the style of Carola Trier was fabulous as was the generosity of +AlanHerdman, a huge thank you to www.pilatesumbrella.co.uk/ for organizing this workshop, I look forward to many more!

So thank you all for the March Madness...I'm off to collect some antibiotics in readiness for Morocco, well if your going to be ill it might as be in 27degree heat!

Happy Easter All!

Suzy

www.seraphinapilates.com

Join us for Pilates Retreats in Italy and Cyprus......http://www.seraphinapilates.com/pilatesbreaks.html

Red noses and a Golden moment for Pilates....

Every now and then you get to be part of something magical. Life will give us an opportunity to be part of something extraordinary. as Pilates teachers we are often privy to these small moments of magic, seemingly insignificant to the world but to the individual they mean the world. One of the pivotal moments for me was when a client exclaimed 'I can brush my teeth, without pain!' now I know she wasn't talking about canines and molars but that single daily action had become easier for her and I might of well have given her the winning lottery ticket (well not quite, but you know what I mean), I think it was that moment that i knew Pilates had me hooked. little did I know that I would also see this client through heartbreak, grief, a suicide attempt and Chemo. Cancer would claim her in the end at 57 but my moments with her and her trust in me until the end are the reason I'm still teaching and writing this today. She showed faith in me when I had none in myself.

Teaching Pilates can be isolating , If your not studio based you can find yourself running from one venue/client to the next, barely crossing paths with other Pilates professionals other than in workshops and conferences. Sometimes its hard to know where you fit particularly if not great at following rules (which I'm not). I have long since watched Pilates professionals/ organisations head up against each other, arguing, 'authentic', 'real' and 'true' definitions of 'Pilates' as if Pilates could be defined in one word or in one way? No one ever taught me on any course that the exercises I taught a client would mean teeth brushing would be worthy of an Olympic medal.

So when the opportunity came up to be part of the Record attempt for the Largest Pilates Class ever, how could I not get involved? Full credit goes to Donna Pourteymour and her team at  http://www.cobhampilates.com for organizing such an amazing event. And quite honestly it would have been easy to say 'I've got too much on '(which I am), Its too far (3 hours in the car) or its Mothers day (it was, and mine came too) excuses are easy but the effort was beyond  worth it, young, older, famous, infamous! all formed part of an 800 strong Mat work class taught by the very lovely lisa Bradshaw (and yes, Donna, she is a Goddess, and has been for as long as i've known her) The energy and passion for life in the room was inspiring and I believe even Joseph Pilates himself would have smiled. And so for the few that failed to show, their actions did cost the group a World record but we got to be part of an energizing, inspiring and healing energy that they will never know. Whilst the event had already raised £27,000 for comic relief   http://www.comicrelief.com/ at the last count more than that the no shows  missed out on the chance to dance whilst brushing their teeth!

Pilates World record attempt Cobham, March 10th 2013

So thank you Judy for the day you remembered to brush your teeth, and all at Cobham Pilates for giving me, my mum and several of my Pilates students the chance to be part of the magic and for those who continue to start sentences with 'But...', 'Maybe....', 'Perhaps....' remember, brushing your teeth is a gift that one day may not be yours.....

Have a Fab week all!

Suzy x

http://www.seraphinapilates.com/

I will be at The Vitality Show March 21st-24th, come and do class (bring a mat), say hello, we would love to see you there!

http://vitalityshow.co.uk/seraphina-pilates-retreats

Fifty shades of Pilates and Shoes....and some very red noses...

"Do not Panic" my administrator declared "everyone will know its not you, the shoes aren't high enough!"....there then followed the silence.... slowly, almost inaudibly I could hear the beginnings of barely hidden tears of laughter as my administrator absorbed the full measure of a link I had discovered in all its bondage glory on my website.
Now as everyone is aware I am very keen on making Pilates part of a variety of physical activities, variety after all is not just the spice of life but also likely to see people remain exercising and in better physical shape for longer. I have had wonderfully honest conversations in the past with clients who demonstrate great reticence 'pushing' their bodies too hard in their Pilates workouts but dont seem to understand that its the same 'weak' back of theirs that was 'swinging' off the chandeliers the previous night!, and yes I do explain this is a little too much information but there you go some clients just like to share!

And so as I absorbed the bondage dilemma whilst trying to get hold of my website fix it man ('URGENT..if not funny' read the email header)....I got to thinking about how my Pilates path has changed over the last 11 years. When I first qualified I didn't even have an email address, communication was done the old fashioned way through actual conversation and dialogue. Now Its email, text, websites and blogs, as teachers we are 'out' there so much more. I appreciate this isn't the case for every teacher but for those of us needing to earn a London Living it is sometimes an inevitable part of people's expectations Pilates is everywhere now, health clubs, gyms, online classes, magazines, books and church halls but the rise in popularity has not necessarily meant a rise in standards which ultimately reflects back on all of us trying to keep the positive message that Joseph Pilates was advocating.

So when someone researches me what do I want them to find? probably not bondage in all honesty even if it was a rather elegant looking site (I'm sure the analytics team are getting some very odd results thats for sure) but how do we manage expectations of clients and students who come to us?. I have had many heated discussions with teachers because I refuse to say on my website and in print that I can fix 'bad' 'backs, necks, shoulders....etc' I'm not a Physio, Chiropractor, Osteopath or Orthopedic surgeon. I happily teach movement and Pilates is my vocabulary, and a powerful life changing one it can be at that, and whilst we all know just how much Pilates can influence someone's life, making sweeping statements and promises puts us all at risk, after all if 95% of back pain has a non specific cause how can I in all honesty claim to be the definitive answer to its 'cure'? So when people ask me if I can 'fix' 'repair' 'reduce pain' etc.  I'm Ok with just saying I can help you move better so 'lets give it a go, nothing ventured, nothing gained'...and its funny how often just offering a sense of optimistic enthusiasm and commitment to a client will provoke a positive shift within their bodies and their own attitudes to them, without the need for me to make google ranking promises...

And so as I juggle the media age (and a bemused web designer and analytics team) whilst trying to remain true to myself the aforementioned bondage episode reminds me that even under the title of Pilates teacher I fulfill so many roles,(albeit that particular alter ego would have been on a much higher hourly rate if the truth be known!) I teach, I listen and I learn every day I get exasperated with Uggs and flip flops (Ugly and oh so bad for their feet!) but I also know my clients love their Uggs and flip flops and will never give them up and in truth as much as I love Pilates I also love wearing my high heels, they make me feel better! so for those Pilates teachers who want to be evangelical and extremist be my guest, your comments on my feet ending up like Victoria Beckhams are duly noted! I will on the other hand continue to make few google ranking promises but will remain curious, absorbed and questioning of mine and my clients Pilates practice and yes I might just teach in my oh so impractical, too high and shameless 50 shade shoes...now there's a very un p.c. thought....

Thank you for reading...may you always remain curious....oh and remember to dance occasionally or even join the World record attempt for the largest Pilates class on March 10th (in aid of Red nose day)

http://events.r20.constantcontact.com/register/event?oeidk=a07e710e24843ea8be2&llr=yaube4fab

Suzy x

P.S For those interested below is the info for the Retreats I run, we do Pilates, we walk, we talk, we laugh oh and we drink Prosecco!

http://www.seraphinapilates.com/pilatesbreaks.html

                                                                           

1200 Pilates....

So this is my first Pilates blog. Originally I had intended it to be about Injury, no one else's just my own.  Suddenly and rather annoyingly I have been the one in 'need' of Pilates not just someone who 'teaches' Pilates. Its not that I haven't had my encounters with back ache, neck ache and annoying niggles but throughout my dancing career I escaped the challenges of real injury (well there is something to be said for not being flexible!) and then fate called time last week and promptly but my lower back into spasm and then yesterday my neck! I am currently typing at a very peculiar angle if the truth be told!.

Its painful, irritating and debilitating but I do know it will go, just in its own time and leaving me with a reminder that even when we think we are fully prepared for all eventualities, sometimes the rug gets firmly pulled. And so as I start to regain movement and confidence I'm aware my Pilates learning curve just got a little steeper. What if someone felt that much pain without knowing it would get better or what if their body didn't have strong enough reserves to make compensations good enough to keep moving, now that would be very scary, and fear should not be underestimated in recovery. Fortunately I have two dogs who dont care if I'm walking like one of the walking dead just as long as I'm walking!

Preparing for Comic relief 2013!

And so with  awkward anticipation i have just signed up myself and Seraphina Pilates administrator to do a record breaking class for Comic Relief, (Ok, so it was a little fib to declare myself fully fit) but the point is I have confidence I will be by then and being part of 1200 individuals all doing a Pilates class will be awesome and truly inspiring. In truth the challenge was one I couldnt resist. Once again I'm reminded how Joseph Pilates work was so revolutionary and powerful not just to the individual but also to a group of like minded friends, colleagues and strangers...Perhaps I will expand the 100's into the 1200's!....now that really would be core power and a test of focus over fear!

Pilates on All....

Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com