Tree Houses and fairy lights....

So I've been a little quiet with my writing, some things need to be said to people directly and not be put to paper. I've had some amazing conversations since I last wrote, life changing ones, honest ones, difficult ones. I've experienced anxiety attacks for the first time in a long time and been lucky enough to have the perfect friend to bring me back from the precipice, I've had conversations that have triggered my self esteem issues, I've struggled with nagging historical  food issues and memories of self harming, and for the first time I've chosen not to go into the darkness. Of course we make these decisions alone, we are all responsible for ourselves but a voice in the dark can remind us who we truly are not what we believe ourselves to be.

So as my ability to communicate this week has been uncharacteristically quiet as a result of Laryngitis. Needless to say I've continued to teach where possible (oh the joys of being self employed), non verbal teaching skills pushed to the most hilarious limits and significantly more demonstrating on my part. It seems my classes have delighted in pushing my body when I've had no voice to protest with! Although to be fair being told I was now silently and subtly sadistic did make me smile today. Continuing whilst having to find new ways to communicate has been challenging but enlightening . Whats been amazing is the energy in class, as much I've been honest with my current limitations the classes have really raised their game in response. Instead of worrying about being off my game I've just accepted I am, classes have been focussed, funny and intense as a result. Sometimes we just have to be ourselves and not frightened to let the performance go, at least I do.

And so as I'm surrounded by fairy lights and a huge perfect Christmas tree, I'm reminded that this time of year is about finding the light when its easy to get lost in the cold, dark, days. Its easy to get caught up with the commercial merry go round that Christmas and then New Year can be, but it is ultimately our choice whether we participate or not. We can of course buy into the excess of everything or we can continue living our lives being as honest with ourselves as we can be. January will no doubt see the inevitable mass of people thinking their lives will change dramatically with a new gym membership or a green drink with unpronounceable ingredients. Perhaps it will, but perhaps, we as teachers, partners, parents, children need to appreciate the true changes we need to make are made every day, starting today. When we are kinder to ourselves, to each other, when we find the magic in the conversations we have with our friends, family or clients that aren't via email, text or pigeon carrier I think we can truly appreciate the presence we each others lives.

So as I immerse myself happily in Christmas music, Sparkle and Love and enjoy the joys of voluntary work over the Holidays I will be truly grateful for the season of good will and the start of 2015 and all that it promises. As someone reminded me luck has nothing to do with it, we, ourselves have everything to do with it. And besides what could be more perfect than knowing I'm going to have a tree house with fairy lights to look forward to, some people need loft conversions, extensions and bigger cars. I am blessed with a job I love, family, friends I adore and more four legs than one life can manage so really what else can a London Pilates teacher ask for....well apart from those Chanel earrings of course (yes I am blatantly that shallow).......well a fairy can dream cant she?!, Happy Holidays All!

Suzy, Doodle, Baxter and all the other paws.....

xxx

Sleeping Lions hiding in the Loft....

“Rivers know this: there is no hurry. We shall get there some day.” 
― A.A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh

Words fascinate me, grammar and spelling less so but words and the power they contain should be given more thought, attention and respect. Its not just language but actual words, spoken or written they can change everything about everything.

It is said only 20% of how we communicate information is through our words, the rest is written in our facial expressions, our tone of voice, the speed and intonation we use, our body language and so many other things that are barely tangible to the average individual. As teachers we rely on words and language to communicate instructions, ideas and theories in an effort to ultimately create movement. Many teachers use too many words, many too few, many are careless and some even swear (guilty as charged) but how many of us consider the resonance of our words with not only our clients but each other?

Whilst attending a Yoga class last week (stop frowning some of you reading this!), the teacher said something that really struck me, 'Our bodies are designed, and able to fall.....more importantly they are also designed to get up'. It was such a simple statement but how often do we get caught up with the word falling and hear and interpret the word as failing?
Lets be clear, I know nothing about Yoga but I like participating it because I know nothing, I like to move without the chatter in my head getting in the way, I like to go too far and loose my balance, I've realized I actually like to fall sometimes. For me those moments shine the light on the experiences where I find balance and feel my feet. I listened as the next teacher talked more than she moved. A class designed to restore and heal (Seriously did I need my heart and chest opened right now?!) The words used in this class were quiet, calming and affirming and it occurred to me that I was surrounded by 19 adults that really just needed to be somewhere peaceful (including me), they needed to be given permission to slow down and rest their minds as well as their bodies. They needed to be sleeping lions.

After my second week working at www.pilatesnation.co.uk I've been reflecting back on working in a studio and the intense joy it brings me. As each new client and class participant has been introduced to me the language of Pilates has taken flight in my spirit, partly because of the teachers around me (finally I'm not alone on the job all the time) but finally getting to use the Method in all its Technicolor glory. I'm sure I'm making lots of mistakes, giggling too much and getting my words all wrong but I'm seeing change in the clients before me which is beyond inspiring. Who would have thought being pushed off a cliff would result in ever expanding wing expansion, although I will happily and with respectful love name every graze, bruise and personal meltdown Kathi since the formidable and fabulous +KathiRossNash was the one who pushed me off the cliff and into this warm albeit turbulent current of air. Of course there will be days when I cry in the supermarket because self doubt, fear and anxiety will be the loudest words in my head telling me I'm not good enough, there will be days that even my favorite grey vest to teach in wont offer me the reassurance it usually does . So if you are reading this having only experienced the wonders of the Mat, find a way to experience the Method in its entirety, it might be a challenge but the rewards will be beyond anything you might expect. I followed a path for 12 years believing I was challenging myself, I worked hard and kept going forward, I never allowed myself the time to fall for fear others would think I was failing. I disguised every bruise, every hurt and every scratch, however deep the wound went. This last year has been a series of falls and flights. The journey started with +BrookeSiler +PeterFiasca and +KathiRossNash in Valencia 2013 and ended up with a fairy called Tinkerbelle in 2014 (its a long story which requires Champagne and luxury nuts before I will share it)....in the meantime I will continue to follow the wisdom of a Bear that liked honey a little too much and get there eventually, oh and then head off to catch a flight to Cyprus to teach Pilates in the sunshine....

Pilates passion and love,

Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com

Its all about Love.

'All the material things are nothing.I'd just hate to live a sordid, colorless existence.....I don't want to live-I want to love first and live incidentally' Zelda Fitzgerald

When I was approaching writing this I had thought it would be about my recent Pilates adventure in NYC and New Jersey, I then thought it would be about TRX. Yesterday I thought it would be about loss. Today I realize it is about Love.

When I took up the invite to head out to New Jersey I knew it would be an awesome opportunity to study with and be surrounded by some exceptional individuals. I also knew my insecurities and fears around meeting new people would rage, which they did. Not because of anything the extraordinary and diverse group of people did (they were all, without exception generous, spirited and passionate about Pilates) but because I am haunted continually by fears of letting people down. Its easy to buckle to our fears and even easier to run from them but with the support of those I respected and trusted the only sensible thing to do was to buckle down, stay focused and enjoy the ride. My love of Pilates and those who inspire me, I decided, was greater than the continual tinnitus of my fears. Which brings me to my attempts at TRX.

As those who know me well will observe I'm not keen on loud music or fast exercise, I'm not sure what happened other than the fact that I decide to say  f**k it and go with the flow, possibly landing on my tush in the process but something intriguing happened. It turned out to be great fun and even better I didn't land on my backside, the more I let go of my failure anxiety the better I became at balance and control. It would be fair to say that many were somewhat bemused by my sudden 'energy' and 'attack', I did however, take note and I did learn a lesson. I remembered how much I love moving and how I'm much better when I move more and think less. KRN I may even have it tattooed as a permanent reminder!

NYC...a city to walk, watch and take note.

Whilst in Manhattan I caught up with an old friend, we went to Soul Cycle, we drank slime green juices, we walked and talked for miles and miles. We rarely see each other and lose contact for months at a time and then we meet up and no time has passed at all. I remembered how much I loved the friends who love you even without daily status updates. The friends who hold your hand through the night even when they're miles away and the friends who make a promise that your flight will go just fine, just because they know your frightened of getting on the plane during a storm.

So finally as I was navigating my thoughts I was saddened to read yesterday about a Pilates teacher killed in NYC by a negligent cab driver last weekend. I did not know her personally but the fact that I had been in the City that weekend really resonated with me. She was due to relocate this weekend and begin a new chapter in her life, she had everything to live for and a life to love. The Universe had different plans however. I hope she knew how much she was loved and respected by her Pilates family so evident with the condolences expressed. And so with the journey of this last week, the fact that it might have been me stepping out in front of that yellow cab that Love is really all its about. Loving what we do, loving those who mean the world to us, whatever the ultimate cost. Loving our bodies, regardless of the things we consider imperfect. But most of all Loving adventure, risk, dogs, cats, kisses, modal airplanes and French Martinis, not necessarily in that order. And should the Universe decide it has other plans at least I will know I lived incidentally and loved first.

Pitbull love in the city sunshine....

Sweet sixteen love, respect and inspiration,

Suzy x
www.seraphinapilates.com

Elephant, Seals and Crabs....Oh my.....

There are many questions that irritate me in life, but one in particular is 'Are you a cat person or a dog person?'. Firstly I'm not entirely sure what it tells the person about me, unless of course they are suggesting that cats and dogs personality's are easily defined, naive at best, seriously misguided at worst and secondly it suggests that depending on what answer I give I may find myself suddenly standing alone with my drink.

Baxter discussing the finer points of the central heating pipe and access to it with George. George wins. Obviously.

If you've read my pieces before you will know I'm allergic to labels. Fortunately since I have 5 cats and 2 dogs of my own I'm not allergic to animals, well I am slightly to new dogs at the shelter but nothing mild sniveling into a tissue wont resolve. So now you understand my dilemma. I'm told emphatically that dogs are loyal and always forgiving whilst cats are independent and fickle, so now I'm confused, what does it say about me?! lets be clear, it is true that dogs have owners whilst cats have staff. Its only one rule to understand but not exactly difficult to follow even for a human like me.
The thing is the conversation is always the same, yes I have a large feline/canine family, yes its expensive, yes I must have had an 'understanding', 'patient', 'tolerant' partner (insert as many sympathy looks here as you feel appropriate) and no I never planned to have quite so many (well not cats anyway) but sometimes they find you and quite honestly Its not in my nature to turn away paws in need. My work as a volunteer in an animal shelter has taught me that there are already too many animals abandoned fighting labels they never deserved. So back to the question, my answer is always the same 'I'm an animal person', fitting a horse into garden in London would just be silly but I have hope that in time I will live somewhere I'll have space for the horse and of course the donkey too, its bad enough that Mr Jones the cat thinks he's a dog and does the rounds of the local Deli, Bookmakers and local pub regularly (none of which I taught him I hasten to add!)

So the question is why do we need to be cat or dog people at all?! Why cant my life as a Pilates teacher embrace loyalty to the heritage of the work and appeal to my curiosity of movement in its most simple and complex form. I teach my dogs to play confidently, without aggression, dominance or attitude and as such I trust they can integrate creatively and energetically into any pack. I've allowed my cats access to the outside world from day one, believing that a cats life where possible is to chase leaves, walk on rooftops and occasionally grow up believing they are dogs and not just a label. Why cant we as teachers embrace all these qualities? It occurred to me that's the way I approach my work. Sometimes its all about Elephants and sometimes I just want to be a Seal, after all did you ever meet an unhappy seal?! So if I'm left holding my own drink because my bark is occasionally too loud or because I'm not affectionate enough well so be it because every now and then someone will bring you a hot chocolate regardless and remind you a label really doesn't matter to those who matter to you .....


Have a fabulous August all, I'm off to New Jersey to hang out with cool cats and the most handsome dogs in the Universe (my own mutts not withstanding obviously!),

Suzy x

Time to let go....

Its not uncommon for people to share their fears with me during Pilates sessions, both before and after class. I don't seek information, nor do I encourage chatty Pilates but sometimes the mind and body has things it needs to say and the voice is just another way of expressing it. Anyone who believes the way we feel has no bearing on the way we move has never been truly frightened rigid, madly in Love to the point of nervous excitement or curled up in a deep depression. The amazing vessel we more familiarly know as our body is far more complex, simple and courageous than we give it credit for. So its hardly surprising that we sometimes get tired, physically, spiritually and mentally in the process of trying to strengthen, build and heal it.

When we work out and are given time and permission to stop and think, we cant be surprised when thoughts bubble up from depths we have tried so hard to consciously suppress, and when someone has the honesty to tell me that a breakdown is both imminent and likely, I listen.
Modern day life can be wonderful but it can also be soul destroying. As Joseph Pilates documented so accurately, a noisier, busier more 'productive' life sometimes comes at a cost. So as I look back at this last month, working full time, attending a Pilates conference in Valencia (I cant believe its been a year +TonyBalongo +KathiRossNash +BrookeSiler +PeterFiasca!). Teaching a Pilates Retreat in Italy with some amazing women, Seeing our House go Under offer, managing insurance claims for my flat, flight delays and lost luggage,  I realize I'm fragile, just as fragile as those who have shared their deepest fears with me.

I will take ownership of my flat back this month and after 15 years with the same person will close a chapter on my life. I will move back to my old flat and start again, I will be without my relationship and 3 of my beloved furry companions who all crossed the bridge since we left. And whilst I know its the right thing to do, initiating change has its own price to pay. As for teaching, well the Show simply goes on, no one pays me to be broken or in pain.
I was reminded recently that all of this was my choice, getting divorced, my job, my lifestyle. And of course in black and white terms they are entirely accurate, but in truth becoming a dancer was in my bones, meeting my best friend, falling in love, taking care of my family after my fathers death, meeting my husband, all of these things broke me at some level and all of these experiences taught me nothing stayed the same and nor should I expect it to. Even becoming a Teacher was a path I tried to avoid but in the end the long days, demanding clients and intense learning curves were all just too irresistible for my personality to turn down. Perhaps I am not just a sadist as many of my clients believe but a Masochist too?

So what does a fragile teacher do? she simply deals with each day as it comes because the overwhelming reality of the next few weeks is simply to paralyzing to contemplate. Did I mention I have final practical exams to take too....It seems avoiding those didn't work either, the dye has been cast and I've been told to step up to the mark. A race I convinced myself I would never be ready to enter, after all I see teachers that really are worthy of the title whilst I'm constantly haunted by just how much I don't know and have yet to learn . And so as I chatted to my client about how if we didn't listen to our bodies, then we couldn't be surprised when they shouted loudly back in the form of Spasms, migraines or panic attacks, I thought it ironic that I overslept the following morning and missed a session with a client. I'd been telling my body I wasn't tired, it clearly begged to differ and took control whilst I closed my eyes and searched for peace. I've overslept a handful of times in 12 years and still I berated my lack of professionalism instead of acknowledging my exhaustion.

But I suspect that's the point, being out of control with my emotions, life, work etc send me into a spiral of anxiety, instead of being excited about starting a new chapter I'm a rabbit caught  in headlights and the jury's out as to whether i will get to the other side safely or end up as road kill. And so I do what makes me feel better...I buy dresses...and shoes....and bags....because fragility requires Armour and everyone knows a Valentino dress is the perfect flack jacket when your trying to convince the world your not nearly as fragile or as vulnerable as you feel. And as for choice....I'm acutely aware of every one I've ever made, every consequence, every sleepless night and every regret and mistake. I'm just hoping that Roadkill in Valentino turns out to be an oxymoron.

A dog called 'Valentino'

With Pilates love.
Suzy x

Chantilly days...

"Forget all you know and learn something new everyday" Charles James

I've just taken a whole six days off, not one day a week over a six week period but a whole six days in a row. I literally cannot remember when I last did this but I suspect I may be doing it again. It seems I've been re introduced to the value of stepping out of my routine, if only for a few days.

It happened quite by chance, in truth a rather special, impromptu invite from, as it turns out, an extraordinary woman. An act of faith and generosity on her part and an uncharacteristic acceptance on mine. As I have previously documented I'm socially insecure, awkward and clumsy. I feel my differences in technicolor when I'm around people who are to all the world more relaxed and confident in themselves, people who are not vegan, passionate about animals, divorced, childless and complicated. Rare is the person who says 'So what?!' and 'Have you tried this Almond milk? or ' So,I'll just bring a picnic' ' I'm fortunate to have some amazing people around me who do that already, one more person to call a friend is always a gift.

And so it was over six days I was fortunate enough to spend time with an amazing family. I was given space to catch my breath and breathe. I met new people, made new friends and laughed a lot. I met up with an old friend that I hadn't actually spoken to in years, emails are not the same, we chatted as if we had only had coffee yesterday. Even if it had been allowed to get in the way, time, it seemed, couldn't remove a bond formed so many years previously. My friend and I are the most unlikely friends and yet somehow we just are. I took an early morning walk in central park, my favorite place to be on a Sunday morning. I went to the ballet. Twice, just because I could. I went to The Met and studied the architecture of Charles James Couture instead of of historical artifacts, just because I could. I got caught in a Thunder storm on 5th Avenue and continued to walk in the rain. I knew I would dry out eventually with no real harm done. I considered at times if it would have been nicer to share these memories with someone, knowing of course the right company cannot be beaten but the wrong company often risks leaving these memories fraught and cold.

As so as I find myself home and once again riding the Merry go round of early starts and late finishes and working too much, I'm concerned. I'm worried I will forget the girl who laughed, sat in the sun and made new friends. But then I'm reminded that some friendships are just meant to be. And some friends enter your life to kick your behind when your confidence is holding you back from yourself, those same friends know you would do the same thing right back if that's what was needed. The extraordinary friends you'd drive through the night or jump on a plane for, just because they asked you to, or even if they didn't. To the wonderful new Pilates teachers I met and hope to meet again, it was a privilege to work with such passionate, energetic, generous and warm people. The work is alive and thriving due to these individuals today. And so it was I left NYC with a heavy but inspired heart, content to know I would be returning in the not to distant future, if only for the Almond milk and vegan sushi, oh and because only laughter appears to work my obliques quite that effectively.

Some friendships however unlikely. Just are.

Love & Pilates,

Suzy x

Desperately seeking instability....

I have a confession. I really cant bear feeling stable, I'm not good with rules, boundaries or prescriptive thinking. I hate being told what I should be feeling or where I should be going. It wasn't always like this, as a child I rarely broke rank, choosing to be compliant over attention seeking. I accepted bad things happened and took control of every aspect of my life I could. I found solitude and quiet in the rules and structure of dance, Ballet mainly but Tap and Jazz too, Contemporary dance was where I first discovered the power of positive physical contact, Release technique would set me on a path to improvisation where the moment and choices you made in them were instantaneous, if you tried to control the dance or predict its outcome the flow would be gone and so too the moment of magic that dancers search so passionately for even after the music has long fallen silent.

So where does that leave a Pilates teacher who feels in her heart that it is movement ; unpredictable, scary, joyous, playful and non risk assessed movement that teaches better co ordination, balance and  flow and thus builds greater strength and flexibility in not only our bodies but also our minds. Becoming pedestrian in our thinking limits us, understanding why we adhere to certain patterns, guidelines, scripts etc is essential but only as a tool to develop our own understanding and perception. When we accept something without question we cannot deepen our own practice or knowledge. In a community full of wonderful History, teachers and practitioners I find myself even more of a Gypsy than ever. I love to learn about Mr Pilates, but I also love to learn about what Romana thought as well as what she taught. Having just spent some time learning with Blossom Leilani Crawford it was wonderful to learn a little more about her time with Kathy Grant as well as her own take on the work. Over the years, meeting teachers influenced by Ron Fletcher, Eve Gentry, Carola Trier has served to open my eyes to the wonder of the Pilates world I'm fortunate enough to be part of not dilute it.  Mary Bowen once described me as an enigma...I'm sure even Mr Jung would have got exasperated with me but actually I quite like being :

 'a person of puzzling or contradictory character' 

I spent too long accepting what I was told just because people had experience, rank, confidence greater than mine. And so whilst finding moments of stability in our lives will always be healthy, albeit in Pilates or just in day to day life. I choose to reclaim the Fame Sweatshirt of my youth, enjoy the memories of white denim, converse sneakers and Prince....because quite honestly its time to just dance in the Purple Rain and not give a F**K what the lyrics actually mean. I think i might leave that particular analysis to the grown ups who don't believe they are Tinkerbell on their days off. And for those who fear I'm not able to move on from the past, I've more than moved on I've learnt from it too, I can only hope it makes me a better teacher and a better person, one  finally prepared to dance in the rain even with the risk of slipping, I'm confident the Pilates training will keep me on my feet come what may.

Have a wonderful weekend all!Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com

Wild women do....

'Wild women do. And they don't regret it.' 

It took me a long time to understand these seemingly irreverent lyrics sang by Natalie Cole in 1990, I was 17, full of fear and about to discover the world did not revolve around my adolescent dramas. I would become fiercely independent, never be seen to cry, never look back, being wild I determined would be for other girls.

Over this past month I've been fortunate to cross paths with some more extraordinary women all navigating the trials and tribulations of running small businesses. So this blog is dedicated to them because in each of their they're unique ways they represent the potential in each of us even when we sometimes fail to see it in ourselves. 

Women who start up their own businesses are always passionate and usually a little crazy in my experience. Why else would we work the never enough hours, talk the talk to anyone who will listen and keep going with so little funding, affordable childcare (OK, in my case dog and cat care), accessible professional development and often simple support at home. Those of us blessed with friends or parents there when we simply couldn't fit anything else in, offering encouragement, walking the dog or picking up the dry cleaning, will probably never know how much they've helped keep us afloat when drowning seemed inevitable. We often come to owning these businesses  more by default than by design. An initial passion, an interest, an illness or other life changing event , in some cases all of the above can often be the beginning of careers that others couldn't even begin to contemplate. Sometimes the path simply picks you and not the other way round. Some women understandably choose to listen to the fears, doubts and obstacles in their heads and walk away from opportunities and challenges , others just turn wild and never look back.

Sometimes realizing you've gone wild and possibly a bit feral can be a bit unnerving and so it was a delight to meet Gloria, Lara and Toral recently at Be:Fit. I'm not suggesting any of these women are remotely wild or feral like me, but passionate about what they do?... most definitely.

Firstly Toral, owner of www.theurbankitchen.co.uk whose passion and interest in keeping ridiculously busy people healthy and energized with fresh, home cooked food (literally) was infectious, and fabulous to meet her wonderful mum too. The lovely Lara whose designs at http://gymluxe.com/ just make you wish you had half her creative talent, more importantly however the clothes are awesome to workout in, a case of style and substance. For the first time my clients are realizing I actually have legs (I'm usually a strictly baggy sweat pants kind of girl) even my teacher is seeing them in a whole new light, who knew I could actually turn out my legs that much and who knew they were that long! 

The charming Gloria at http://www.rockondivas.com/ is changing the lives of women after Cancer one workshop, spa day, retreat at a time proving that recovery can be a time for appreciating just how extraordinary the body is at healing given just a little positive support, guidance and love. So the truth is these women inspire me to remain wild, challenging and unpredictable in my future adventures and if people want to talk about risk assessment, concept strategies or discuss focus groups I think I might just take my newly unleashed mesh covered thighs and skip merrily along, maybe even singing as I go.....

Wild women do and they don't regret it
Wild women show what they're goin' through
Wild women do what you think they'll never
What you only dream about wild women do

It seems when you love what you do and have an unstoppable passion for it, running a business is a lot like being in love. Unpredictable, compelling, complicated, never guaranteed to last and exhausting but always rewarding in ways you never expect and never regret. Well at least it is for the wild ones who aren't 17 any more.

Loving GymLuxe even when I have passed out after teaching!

Pilates love to All....

Suzy x

www.seraphinapilates.com

I'm a Mosquito....

“If you think you're too small to have an impact, try going to bed with a mosquito in the room.”

― Anita Roddick

Did you ever truly consider the impact Pilates has on our lives? If your'e a teacher, not only on your life but those of your students and clients?. If your the student or client then the impact on your teachers life?
I exhibited last weekend at a women's fitness exhibition, I was there to promote my Pilates Retreats, but, as those who know me best know, I'm not big on self promotion, however, there I was, the only Pilates Exhibitor on site in a sea of 12.000 (mainly) women and the odd very fit man.

Over the three days and having spoken to almost 400 people, myself, my mum and a friend explained, discussed and guided people through their Pilates questions and learnt about just where Pilates figured into their lives. Interestingly only one person asked me who I trained with, some wanted to know how to find a teacher, some were surprised to know the System was named after a 'Real' man. For the most part however Pilates was and is having the most extraordinary impact on their lives. Many are doing what is described as Pre Pilates, Clinical or Fitness Pilates, very few were doing Studio Pilates with access to the full system yet most were happy and feeling the benefits in ways they had not only hoped but also in ways they hadn't expected.

And so when I consider the ripple effect of one man's vision I'm left slightly in awe of what Pilates teachers far and wide are currently achieving, both in classes and the studio. In reality we can work as hard as we want but if a client doesn't pick up the baton and run with it then true change doesn't occur. The magic for me is that clearly the baton of physical and mental empowerment is being handed beautifully from teacher to client but also from client back to teacher. Quite simply the more we inspire the more inspired we should become better teachers. So it occurs to me that just as there is room for all skill levels and abilities in the clients we teach there is room for all types of teachers. The most important thing is that the right client finds the right teacher, fall's in Love with the Pilates Method and never looks back.

As for the exhibition, it saddened me that Pilates was not represented at an event that was about women, health and fitness. With so many Pilates training providers with much bigger marketing budgets than me (i.e they have one!) I was sorry not to see one there helping share the Method I'm so passionate about. And so I decided to be a Mosquito in a sea of 'Power plate', 'Extreme Body Sculpt' and 'Super Modal workouts' Needless to say my Retreat promotion was somewhat side tracked. I did however get to meet some amazing people all busy being Mosquito's in their own rights including http://www.theurbankitchen.co.uk/, http://gymluxe.com/ and http://www.rockondivas.com/ and was even gifted some fabulous gloves and toe socks by http://www.gaiam.com/ .More on these guys later as they deserve a blog all of their own for being such amazing people to know.

In the meantime I'd better get on with promoting my Pilates Retreats, http://www.seraphinapilates.com/pilatesbreaks.html, possibly using sign language since I've lost the ability to speak after talking so much, alternatively I might leave it to my administrator since she can always find something more to say, not to mention a fit man to say it to!

Happy Pilates Weekend All!

Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com

When Love hurts

“You become what you think about all day long.” 
― Ralph Waldo Emerson

If the about quote is true, I'm in trouble.
I don't know when it happened, it started of as a casual acquaintance, something that took up my time infrequently and without that much thought. It was something that belonged alongside all the other things that filled my day, It was OK but nothing special. And then we went our separate ways, Life got in the way and there were others that would burn a flame with far more commitment and passion than me. A brief and playful dalliance was over.

A long, long time ago dancing in 'Peter's Hands' with Magpie Dance Company. Peter is the dancer in the picture, he choreographed the entire duet inspite of his severe learning disability, it was always a joy to dance.

My long term love has always been the theater, an empty one, preferably, with its ghosts and stories, where magical, fleeting moments, never to be repeated are played out six days a week. The rewards of Performing were always secondary to the feeling of belonging I had in an empty rehearsal space or theater, once my performing career had ended, I had assumed my destiny would remain tied to a twilight world where the hushed expectations of an audience would provide a creative soul with a reason to continue existing.
To this day I'm not quite sure when or why the transition out of the rehearsal space and into the gym happened, I was offered a job if I trained as a personal trainer so I took it. My love of theater wouldn't pay the bills and I had a mortgage and bill's so I walked away from something I loved into something I loathed.

I should explain, I loved working with clients but as someone who cant bear gyms and the 'No pain, no gain' culture that was so strong at the time, I just didn't fit. I certainly wasn't about to start drinking protein shakes and develop a sudden passion for competitive BMI statistics. And so, inevitably, I was fired, well that's what you get for not sleeping with the boss and doing too much Pilates, what had been a brief encounter in a previous dancing life was drawing me back in, my previous dalliance was soon to become a full blown relationship but it would come at a price.

And so here I am, I've taught Pilates for 12 years, 7 days a week for the first 9 years, 6 days a week for the last 3. I love what I do but the price has been high. Unlike the six days a week I worked in theater where you always had a theatrical family around you, I've worked alone and independently for the length of my Pilates career, no colleagues and few friends. Constant early starts and late nights throughout the week play havoc with a social life until you realize you no longer have one. And so I've realized if my love affair with the Pilates method is to endure then things have to change, in part I think that's why I returned to retrain, I needed to be with others in a shared space, somewhere I could be supported as well as support. I needed a studio to provide the security that an empty stage or rehearsal space had once done, I am eternally grateful to have found one, even if I do still love it best with no one in it. The baby steps I'm taking are clumsy, I'm awkward around noise, struggle painfully with social occasions and am still petrified (literally) of meeting new people unless its during work. But much like my clients I'm a work in progress and as much as the love and passion I have for Pilates evolves I've learnt it can easily take too much from you if you allow it to, I'm forever grateful that the early dalliance became a life long adventure, it will however not be allowed to hurt who I become but merely be a beautiful part of the whole current madness that is my life....once I get one that is!

Love and adventures,
Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com

Feel free to defriend me....

When you 'Like' me what does that mean? when you 'follow' me or become my friend? I'm seriously starting to wander. Several years ago I came off Facebook because I was being bullied by someone close enough to hurt. My confidence, already low, couldn't take the hit so I removed myself from public view. My classes were full, so, I reasoned, I didn't need social media in my life, very few of my friends were on it so why bother? In truth however, once I started running my Pilates Retreats I realized I needed a place to interact with those who didn't know me, researching every aspect of our lives online has become a standard thing in daily life, whether its looking for cheap flights or reading the latest Gossip on Mr Clooney.

Returning to Facebook has given me access to people, teachers and organisations  I may never have heard about, for every petition I sign in total despair there are stories of life's hero's that remind me that there are good people doing extraordinary things daily in this world. However, having just spent the afternoon at the Shelter, my usual shift with the dogs reminded me just how much humans complicate a life that should be much simpler. As I walked and played with the rejected and unwanted dogs, the bereaved companions left behind and the unwanted litters of  puppies I thought how much time people waste being hurtful, spiteful or just plain cruel. Each week I interact with dogs with every right to be aggressive, reactive or vengeful I am always struck by how, for the most part  I am met with hope, warmth and often too much love no matter what fate had delivered.

So for those who wish to use social media as a way to thread bullying, to imply, suggest or generate gossip, lies or mistrust please do me the favor of defriending, unliking and unfollowing me immediately because quite frankly your presence in my life is a pain in the Arse. This includes those of you who direct it at my colleagues, my friends and my family. I don't let many people into my life, I'm fiercely guarded, but those I do I will protect, privately, publicly and usually very loudly. You see some of us who have been abused, hurt and bullied do not use it as an excuse to abuse, bully or  hurt. As my mother always said 'words are like nails that have been hammered in, even if you pull the nails out they still leave a mark, so be careful with the ones you use'

So if you're reading this I hope your a friend and I hope we continue to inspire and learn from each other, and to those with nothing more than venom in their words I say this ; the fat little girl, you know the one, the hearing impaired child who couldn't read until eight, constantly plagued by unsightly cold-sore outbreaks caused by anxiety, the one who chose to be a survivor and not a victim when some trusted adults failed her, the one who was told repeatedly by teachers that she just wasn't good enough no matter how hard she tried. Well, that child would like to thank you for the training because she's had a lifetime of listening to you and quite frankly she's finally graduated from ever having to listen to your Bullshit rhetoric again. She's done Ok and she's still going. Does this mean I wont shed tears when my confidence is crashing? I doubt it, but it wont be hateful voices keeping me there, it will however be the friends and family kicking me back into positive gear whether its though the magic of others posts, tweets, messages or good old fashioned Martinis putting the worlds to rights!

Me, aged 7

Have a wonderful weekend all!
Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com

Don't tell Mama.....

“You can choose your friends but you sho' can't choose your family, an' they're still kin to you no matter whether you acknowledge 'em or not, and it makes you look right silly when you don't.”

― Harper Lee, To Kill a Mockingbird

So I've done it, I've survived my final Classical Pilates training weekend and a class with +KathrynRossNash as a last minute bonus. I have Advanced exercises, The 100's (repeated and repeated) and Limoncello still swimming around my head and now the fun begins threading it all together (perhaps easier without the Limoncello). Something occurred to me however, as I got chatting to some other participants taking Kathi's class, we were all from different schools of training, different backgrounds and all in different places in our teaching lives. I heard positive stories of training and less positive ones. I've been incredibly lucky in my own retraining (with http://www.pilatesnation.co.uk/ ) as there has only ever been support and encouragement. The bar has been set high and I have a lot of work ahead of me but the emphasis has been on learning, understanding, linking and doing, it has also meant making mistakes and acknowledging what I learnt from it, without fear and without judgement.

And so it frustrates, though doesn't surprise me to learn that others haven't been supported on their Pilates journeys by the very Pilates 'family', 'community' or  'school' they become part of when taking on the study and legacy of Joseph Pilates. But then the idea of family is a complex one, some are blessed to be close to parents, siblings, extended families etc, some of us have realized that DNA does not a happy connection guarantee and that sometimes the healthier thing to do is walk away. Some of us have had friends behave more compassionately, more honestly and more loyally than those supposedly charged with the role of caring for us unconditionally. Sometimes its our friends we have regarded as family that have hurt us the most.

In truth everything we love comes with conditions, an assumption of respect, understanding and patience, an expectation of honesty (even if it hurts), support (even when we think we don't want it) and occasionally intervention (or your Administrator, i.e my Mum insisting you take a break WITHOUT Pilates). So, are we a global Pilates family?, I like to think so, and yes that means we wont all get along or want to sit next to each other for 'Family time' or meet at 'Family gatherings' or even spend time at conferences together but I truly believe we can learn to respect the Pilates DNA that pulses so passionately through all our veins, after all  its passion for the work that got us all where we are now. And so I look forward to more family time, not easy for a confirmed little black sheep that never expected to fit in anywhere and I might even take a break to NJ in May....Just don't tell Mama I'm doing Pilates.......


Have a great week all....Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com

Shhhhhhh.Dont tell Mama!

Reserving Judgements.....

“Reserving judgements is a matter of infinite hope.” ― F. Scott Fitzgerald

It has been a whirlwind 5 months since I started my Classical bridging course with http://www.pilatesnation.co.uk/ .Did I expect the long hours, frustrated practice and shear exhaustion?, yes. Did I expect to be inspired by some rare individuals on the way, in truth it hadn't really occurred to be to think about it. Life has a habit of running away with me, carrying me along and rarely looking back. That said I'm often struck by both  the beauty and ugliness of human beings in often disproportionate balance, i get disillusioned with humanity frequently, and then the curve ball, the moment you realise what you do and why you do it is about so much more than where the hands or feet are supposed to be placed. The fact is sometimes I've barely been able to crawl through life, let alone stand on either my feet or hands.

And so this blog is a thank you, to the fellow trainees I'm training along side. I'm in awe as I watch them learning, questioning and wading their way through into becoming the extraordinary teachers they are growing into. It is my hope that through humor, study and play that we will continue to learn alongside each other, no matter what they assume I know through my previous years of teaching, In truth I haven't actually taken the learner plates off yet.

The other unexpected and truly joyous part of the training has been helping some other amazing individuals as they take their final exams, and by help I simply mean by being a body, encouraging exploration and ultimately calming nerves I hope. As we meander through the maze of exercises, bodies and any number of possible configurations of mind, body connections together. I realise that this work really is a Sanctuary for many of us (you know who are for describing it so eloquently), its a space where we can have fun, heal wounds, learn to let go and learn just how strong we are. So the more I read and hear angry, bitter and quite honestly rude comments from those working in the very community I love and respect, the less I think these people have actually got the work and everything Pilates has to offer. Its not that I'm against debate or passionate opinion but truthfully how many of us got it all right from the beginning?, how many of us haven't  made errors in judgement? or simply had to made decisions based on paying our mortgage (and yes that means selling out on your principles at times) So as I continue through to my final weekend of training and into the real learning phase. I hope I continue to reserve my judgement's and continue to respect the paths of others. And in the meantime I look forward to my Monday duet with a friend, teacher and new found Pilates partner in crime, a woman that is extending her body, mind and spirit into the most inspiring places, even if she doesn't see it, both in life and Pilates, and in the meantime should she need a hand to steady her along the way I will always be just within reaching distance. After all if we cant support each others journeys when the road gets a little unsteady and downright treacherous at times  then whats the point?

Sometimes all you can do is reflect and keep moving forward....

Have a beautiful week all,

Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com

We are just star stuff....

“The Cosmos is all that is or was or ever will be. Our feeblest contemplation's of the Cosmos stir us -- there is a tingling in the spine, a catch in the voice, a faint sensation, as if a distant memory, of falling from a height. We know we are approaching the greatest of mysteries.” 
― Carl Sagan, Cosmos

Every now and then as a Pilates teacher I am stopped in my tracks by someone, sometimes a friend, a client or someone I teach but more often than not by a stranger. This past week I've been struck by the suicide of a young girl I didn't even know, I've watched via social media as a young woman has had beautiful tributes paid which I suspect she would barely have recognized as even possible had she lived to read them. There is no age to die, but 19 is too young to believe something as precious as life is not worth living. In the same week I was contacted by someone equally distressed and needing help, her last hope being Pilates. It's at these moments I realize sometimes people just find me for whatever reason and that sometimes even a voice in the dark can provide a vague glimmer of hope.

There are no training courses for these scenarios, no codes of conduct or manifestos that will ever dictate how one should be in those moments, we just have to trust that the universe has put us there for a purpose and do our best to navigate the sometimes unsteady path. After all how does someone know their limits or set their boundaries until they've found themselves pushed painfully hard up against them? I'm reminded of my own darker times, of standing on underground platforms close enough to the edge to make others feel uncomfortable, thinking to myself that one more step would bring peace and silence to deafening sorrow whilst disregarding the endless noise and pain it might leave behind. I've sat up with friends providing suicide watch to hearts too broken to allow their lungs to breathe. I've taught on a  Psychiatric ward when a client tried to end her life (I was one of two people she would allow to know) When she survived, her priorities were cigarettes, chocolate Brazil nuts and Pilates- In that order. These responsibilities are huge but when you've stepped back from the edge and chosen life yourself then I believe you also choose to try and help others value theirs.

I've recently found myself  helping old clients find better Pilates, clients who have moved away and become disillusioned with the quality of teaching they are finding and frustrated by the lack of interest in Pilates some of these teachers demonstrate. And whilst there are some truly amazing teachers in the furthest reaches of the UK and beyond, a small town should not lead to a small attitude in a subject as broad and interesting as Pilates. With that in mind I set myself a challenge, to finally start meeting in person the 'strangers' that have been inspiring me starting next month in Leeds! And that's the point, social media and technology shouldn't mean increasing isolation and separation of ideas and emotions within society, it should be used to broaden our friendships, experiences and knowledge, in every aspect of our lives. So as a new week starts, listen out for the stranger at the petrol station that tells you you have pretty eyes, reread the words someone wrote about how much your teaching means to them and if it doesn't sink in read it again, pay attention to the voice on the end of the phone that just sighed with relief simply because you gave them options. In spite of the long days, the emotional challenges always remember we really are the lucky ones after all as Confucius said when you 'choose a job you love, you will never have to work a day in your life' 
So whatever the week ahead brings I'm thankful for the challenge and the people I meet and I'm grateful that I stepped back from the edge all those years ago deciding to ride the train instead, after all when all's said and done 'we are all just star stuff' and here to shine a path for each other through even the darkest nights, and to those already journeying through the night sky I wish you peace.
with love,
..
Suzy

www.seraphinapilates.com