2013 is almost done....on the one hand its been the most amazing year, on the other hand that darn learning curve took itself off it's own graph and was last seen heading towards Saturn. As a general rule I'm an optimist, a half glass kinda girl and steadfastly remain so but I don't always learn quickly and I don't like letting go or giving up, so sometimes I hang on to the edge of the raft even when I can clearly see the very miffed Tiger sitting in the dingy opposite me.So as I stare out of the raft and back at this year it's been about travel, meeting new people, friendship, love, revising past chapters in my story so far and final curtain calls.

And so after a busy beginning to the year for Easter this year I learnt more about Islam in Morocco than I ever expected, and from a Muslim man. I gained a level of respect for a culture that in truth I knew very little about, this beautiful country with its warm people and colorful women reminded me nothing beats an open mind or an open heart where education is concerned. From there in May I found myself back in Italy for our first Pilates Retreat of the Year. I love teaching in Casperia, enough said. The following week my life was being saved at St Mary's Hospital, London, when a rather frustrated Appendix decided enough was enough. The NHS is a true gift, however flawed, I will always be grateful for the scars I have left, of course I don't mind them, they remind me several people saved my life one average Tuesday night after teaching,  Too busy to notice I was really quite sick.

2 weeks later its June and I was back teaching in Cyprus, scars barely healed but able to complete the Full Mat work albeit gently, that's the true gift of Mr Pilates work, if the exercises are in your body, your body will use them to heal you when you most need them to. July was a conference in Valencia, run by the too fabulous +TonyBalongo http://www.valenciaclassicalpilates.com/ Whilst there I got to see the ever lovely +BrookeSiler again but also got to meet someone who would inspire just a little gift of hope in me on those days when it all gets a bit over whelming and scary out there in Pilates land, +KathiRossNash exudes an energy and passion for Pilates which is truly infectious, she also makes me smile, and I love her for it.

In August I turned 40 in NYC and did ballet barre classes like no Ballet classes I've ever experienced before, I'm not sure I ever want to meet those muscles again in my lifetime, I met +CareyRegan http://www.reabnyc.com/instructors_Bio.asp?ID=51318377 who simply told me to spread my wings and let go, whilst talking to my mother about her cat.

September was back to teaching Retreats in Cyprus and finally returning to Casperia where I have never laughed so much, ever, being locked out at midnight during a storm being a truly memorable moment. Nothing like being in a scene from Ab Fab and realizing its a scene from your actual life. I also started my Classical training with +AlisonGoodman at http://www.pilatesnation.co.uk/ .In truth my brain is fried with all the extra learning I'm trying to absorb but then I just hear Carey's and Kathi's words and I beat those wings a little harder and hope I dont land too hard on my tush. And finally in November I found myself in Florence two days after my divorce was finalized, How is it such a perfect, beautiful City seemed so vast, overwhelming and frightening, thank goodness for =DeborahLessen and +FrancescaBertoni at http://www.bodybalancestudio.it/pilates.html and Prosecco!

And already its December, This year I've continued to be a volunteer with The Mayhew Animal Home and cried too many tears over our ridiculous Breed specific legislation. I've restored a company (no idea how I managed that) I've finally got my way after three years of legal dullness when a Barrister, and I quote, finally gave in just to get rid of the 'annoying little girl'. And I ended a marriage, knowing your doing the right thing doesn't always make it pain free or less exhausting. My eldest cat died suddenly one spring night, my youngest dog just had his knee reconstructed and is currently the reincarnation of Tigger when he is supposed to be rehabilitating steadily, my Grandmother developed Bone Cancer and still got herself to Brighton for Christmas at The Grand Hotel, that learning curve was last seen heading towards a Galaxy far, far, away. I've had a year of friends caring and not caring, I've had fabulous clients reminding me of just what it is I'm destined to do. I've had Sleep restored by thoughts of Unicorns and girlfriends there to remind me its not a rehearsal, I've also had a mother telling me to eat. But that's it, as this year draws to an end I'm reminded that every mistake, misunderstanding, memory (good and bad), and magical moment were exactly as they were meant to be, perhaps more profoundly, when I couldn't decide between an Angel, Pegasus or Unicorn for my next Tattoo someone unwittingly made the decision for me. Well after all, 'Life is too important to be taken seriously' Mr Wilde, you are so right.

Happy New Year to All that are walking the walk and spreading those wings,

Suzy x

A man called Toto....

Its an underpass, covered in Graffiti, the kind found in a lot of Italy, bold, aggressive. A little look closer however, and you realise its actually artwork, images and words I'm sure the local community understand much better than me, that said I'm uneasy in this rabbit warren but somethings different, I can hear opera, loud, glorious, unapologetic and compelling, I can also smell incense. Its then I'm introduced to Toto, he's a man that's lived several lives in one, he is homeless, I'm not sure if he lives in the underpass but he directs the ambiance, the hustle and the bustle with the elegance of a concert pianist. He makes an area you would normally rush to get through an oasis in the blindness of day to day routine. He hands me some incense, a gift from a stranger to a stranger and I am deeply humbled and feeling just a little foolish in Florence.

So here I am in a city I once visited 20 years ago, I've barely breathed since my divorce came through. I hate flying, I'm anxious in groups of people I don't know, I don't know where I'm staying or how to get there and I'm not sure I want to spend two days thinking about Pilates, and then I meet Toto and everything finds its place. I'm here to study with +DeborahLessen courtesy of  +FrencescaBertoni of https://www.facebook.com/www.bodybalancestudio.it . I'm the only participant from the UK, everyone else is Italian or Dutch. Deborah is here post knee surgery and amazingly sharp and generous given the jet lag she must have been feeling and the challenges of a recovering knee. I'm staying in a B&B which is actually a delightful couples house where they let rooms, no hotel anonymity for me, just a delightful rotund cat and a toy poodle living in fear of her. Its a strange thing taking yourself out of your comfort zone, forgetting that others will find my being vegan odd and simply say so. Cue the Prosecco and a tantrum when the waiter serves it in a sherry glass, 'Please bring me a grown up glass' I heard myself say (I'm a little stressed!). Francesca is a delight and a truly passionate Pilates soul with a beautiful studio, generous spirit and could not have made things easier for me and those attending, although I have to say moving equipment via a horse box (straw included) was a unique, magical and somewhat surreal moment.

After two days taking in the wisdom of Deborah http://www.deborahlessenpilates.com/green_street.php and learning albeit with creative hand signalling from the other participants I spent a third day just walking through a magical city, taking in its beauty, its warmth and its elegance. I'd survived taking myself out of my comfort zone, no harm done. I met new people, collided head on with other cultures (yes I can really help lift a reformer), I drank Prosecco in grown up glasses and waited 45 minutes for a bath to fill (who knew the art of learning patience was in the bubbles all along), I learnt I could fly alone without the Captain having to divert the plane due to passenger hysteria. I learnt that being a vegan is confusing to some, And?! but most of all I learnt that a man called Toto was the lesson I was really meant to take, that in the places that often fill you with fear, where there are so many exits you don't know which one to take, where sometimes you have to go underneath where you are comfortable and feel safe to cross to the other side, that all you have to do is stop and listen. Because music to lift your soul is playing somewhere, you just have to tune the rest of the noise out to stand a chance of hearing it.

Pilates love and energy as always....

Suzy x
www.seraphinapilates.com

Life is not measured by the number of breaths we take but by the moments that take our breath away. -Hilary Cooper....

Since the age of 13 and my first Tap class I have loved to move. My mother says I was always happy to walk miles even from small, apparently I also had a certifiable Great aunt who also liked to walk everywhere but more of that later, perhaps it's in the blood or perhaps I just haven't worked out where I'm trying to get to yet? In any case I love to move, I like to fidget and I get distracted easily. I should clarify I do not like to move fast (I'm not keen on sweating or over heating) but I can always find something to do, it might just take me a while to get there.

And so there is some irony in the fact that I managed a career as a Dancer and now teach Pilates without actually breathing for most of it. I cue it, I discuss it, I understand its importance, I just don't do it! There I've said it and its out there, I do not like to breathe deeply and now I finally know why. I recently sat in on a breathing seminar and had one of those lightening bolt moments whilst looking at the size and structure of the diaphragm and suddenly it hit me. I'd been trying to control that muscle like everything else, within an inch of its very important life. But when we limit this delicious, fabulous muscle we limit all our other muscles too, and then wander why our bodies ache?! In an effort to control, redefine and perfect I have been only giving myself half a chance of really feeling the benefits that breathing and living can bring. Depressed people take less breathes, people in love with life take more- its not rocket science, breathing keeps us alive, so if we want to feel alive we need to pay more attention to it, well at least I do.

It is so easy to get caught up with everyone else's lives, needs and expectations that we forget to look at our own. Ever noticed how your breathing changes without you thinking about it? when your angry, panicking, laughing or when you have literally had your breath taken away by an unexpected encounter. Our hearts sit so closely to our lungs that the movement of the lungs must have a positive effect on the heart, I don't need a research paper to tell me that. And so my homework has been to notice my breathing and be conscious of its effects on my body and mind, to control less and move more, I'm probably still not going to sweat but I'm going to have lots of fun trying. As for my Great Aunt who not only walked endlessly but also drank with Sailor's, sang, danced and had tattoos, well she undoubtedly caused lots of people to stop breathing at times but she was simply to busy living and laughing to notice. Personally, clear the tables people Its time to take a deep breath and dance....

Keep dancing on the tables all......Suzy x

www.seraphinapilates.com

Finding the Classical path to letting go...

Baxter

Ok, I admit it, I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious. I'm also loving my new training, learning a lot and being pushed to every limit of my being currently in my real life. I'm a Pilates teacher, that does not make me indestructible, impervious to sadness or always able to know what to do. I have two great loves, Pilates and Animal Welfare, the more I learn about both, the more I'm inspired and the more frustrated I get when small things blur the bigger picture.

Since starting the course I've had the joy of working along side some new trainee teachers and be trained by some truly passionate and gifted ones. The generosity of individuals to preserve and keep alive our great technique is truly humbling and awesome, and I think in some ways the fact that my co trainees find it baffling that I still get teaching stage fright even if it is amusing to watch. I think its easy for those of us who have taught for so long to forget how far our journey has taken us and just how much we have learnt and have yet to learn. You see the more I understand the Classical approach to Pilates the more I'm interested in understanding everyone's perspective on the work, because new isn't always wrong, its just different. Having recently read 'Your Health' written in the 30's there is a very different feel to the work in 'Return to Life' written in the 40's and perhaps that's the point the work we do is always going to have a different view, it just depends which lookout you are positioned on and perhaps even which decade..

And so it seems with the day to day effort to keep Life full of life and as I prepare the teaching schedule up to Christmas, I barely have time to consider the previous year. I had the most amazing time in Italy with an amazing group of Pilates devotees, I really have not laughed like that in a long time, I am truly, truly grateful to those who made it such an awesome experience, even if I did find myself unexpectedly rescuing a poodle one morning, once an animal advocate, always an animal advocate even when at work it seems. 

Since returning my life has been classes, training, legal deadlock with a Freeholder, VAT dilemmas, unhappy tenants, volunteering at my local animal shelter and divorce and now a sick dog with joint problems. Enter my dog Baxter who is my calm in the storm, but now he hurts and never complains and my heart aches for him. My quiet companion who belongs to a so so called devil breed otherwise known as Bull breeds has rescued my soul from the overwhelming grief of losing my beloved dog Honey to Cancer last September, his quiet grace and humor compels me to slow down and chase leaves occasionally...and so it is with admitting that sometimes I get overwhelmed, I say the wrong things to loved ones and to friends, I sometimes forget to reply to emails and voicemail's or update my website, but in case someone doesn't notice because I'm busy being  the strong, capable one, sometimes I just need a little grace too, a little time and understanding, after all its Just Pilates and I'm just a Pilates teacher learning to let go. But rest assured  I promise not to lick your face in gratitude, even if I am forever grateful.

Keep up the Pilates journey....

Suzy 

www.seraphinapilates.com

Unity in Diversity....

This post was originally meant to be about my recent New York Pilates exploits, about going to Barre Classes expecting to exercise like a swan and instead doing butt busting plies to loud aerobics music resembling a blindfolded duck! It was going to focus on meeting Carey Regan at http://www.reabnyc.com/home.asp and the wonderful insight she gave me into her experience of Pilates, 'Its just Pilates' she said to me 'do less and have fun!' I nodded my head like one of the dogs you see in the windows of cars, I threw my arms around as if Makarova herself was dancing inside my head. I worked through the exercises and I screeched as Carey pushed and pulled me until I simply gave up resisting and eventually found my way. In truth I knew very little about Carey before meeting her, other than the fact that she came highly recommended from people I respect and that, quite honestly, was enough.

 



However, this week as the Pilates World lost Romana Kryzanowska and Julian Littleford I am not only saddened by the passing of these individuals but deeply saddened by some of the bickering and squabbling I have observed on social media Forums. I did not know either of these people personally I can however, appreciate the loss to the family and friends left behind. As such I  do not understand some of the posts I have witnessed amongst so called 'Pilates professionals'. From what I can observe Romana along with several other 'Elders' helped Pilates become the success it is today, a legacy reaching far and wide across the globe. a life well lived and champagne often appreciated. In the case of Julian who I watched in interview with Alan Herdman online, I observed a generous, humorous man, passionate about Pilates and his family, I had hoped to cross his path at some point, sadly not to be. His death at 53 was untimely and to many truly devastating, the death of my own father at 45 taught me from an early age that even the apparently young, fit and healthy sometimes get taken too soon. Death is a time for appropriate reverence not playground bitching.

And so as I have read the references to Pilates in terms of a 'Family', 'Industry', 'Business' or 'Corporation' the thing I observe least is 'Community'. Perhaps my position is naïve, where there are people there will always be differences of perspective and opinion, where there are lawsuits there will always be one side arguing for and one side arguing against. But I fear, caught in the middle are those just wanting to enjoy, benefit from and appreciate Pilates. No wonder teachers become frustrated and despondent when they see those they admire openly venting their spleens. To that end perhaps there is just reason to feel aggrieved and angry over events or history but I truly believe not all platforms and times are appropriate, but then that's just my 'rose tinted' opinion. To my own end and continued development  I will continue to train with as many people as I can from as many different schools of thought as possible, because as a wise teacher once said 'Its just Pilates, move more and have fun' and perhaps the most poignant memory of my trip to  NYC will be of visiting the African Memorial where I found the symbol below....and yes I am having it tattooed for all to see. For me it say's it all.

Keep up the Pilates passion,
Suzy x



Reflection on Time...

Sometimes our past experiences catch up with us, sometimes they open up old wounds and sometimes they bring great joy, often times they leave us with more questions than answers. But the one thing thats guaranteed is that life's experiences will take us forward, willingly or kicking and screaming, time however, will not wait for us to gather our thoughts, to be ready or to fully prepare, it moves forward regardless....

I love August, its a month where work is quieter, London is easy to navigate, days are generally warmer and I have the time to be less structured in my day to day comings and goings. This Year I unexpectedly also got to meet up with a friend I hadn't seen in over 17 years. We had a coffee and in spite of some difficult previous history, it seemed like no time had passed, we were simply the friends we were before life got complicated, 90 minutes later and he was on the move again, heading back to his wife and daughter, a joy to see, a future I doubt he would have predicted 17 years ago. I was fearful of going back, but in doing so we both moved forward, a leap of faith ending in a happy encounter. I've also been struck this week by the number of parents waiting for their children's exam results and parents preparing to send their children off on their next adventures. Their emotion has been heartfelt and at times a little heart breaking to see but in the end I also see 'children' (and by that I mean all of us with parents still looking out for us however old we are) ready to take their next steps with a sense of adventure, courage and confidence capable of riding the unpredictable wave of experience that lies before them. So as I use the quieter time to organize the remaining years schedule I'm struck with how far I, and many around me have come. When it would have been easier to give up based on previous experiences the answer has been to open up more and allow ourselves to experience more, to express fears instead of pretending we are fearless, to express frustration instead of turning inwards and above all to learn to say No to things that are likely to have a negative impact on our lives, but more importantly to say Yes to opportunities, even when fear is trying its best to shoot us down before we have even started.
So to the scars and wounds of experience I salute you, you remind me of the battles and the hurdles to get to today, this moment, this time, for helping me discover a true love for Pilates, a passion for the generous learning and for all teachers I have encountered on my journey so far, and for the understanding that the only reason we attain knowledge is to share it, and to those teachers who think its theirs to hold onto, I wish you luck because its like a trying to create a Martini without the shaker, you might have all the ingredients but you will never know how to truly bring its potential together, and only truly unique teachers know when and how to shake, mix the add the olive.......as for me I'm off to practice my Martini roll down against the wall, is it possible? I dont know, am I having a lot of fun doing it and teaching it, yes. Sometimes the only way to make peace with the day is with laughter, there are endless reasons to cry...try instead to find the moments that make you laugh, you might just find that roll down possible after all....

Sometimes you just need a drink with your fruit!

Keep walking, rolling and cart wheeling the Pilates path,

With love,

Suzy

www.seraphinapilates.com

Backward rolls and sexy cats in Valencia....

Every now and then the stars align and send you somewhere they know you need to be. I'm awkward, I've never really fitted anyway 100%, I was a child that preferred her own company, I was never cool, a rotund, quiet and uncool presence, fitting in just wasn't on the agenda. I became a performer with a morbid fear of performing having been told at college that perhaps I should consider the plumbing course instead of the dance one. I soon discovered I enjoyed the process of movement, I loved rehearsing, exploring, playing, I loved double work and even being dropped from heights. I loved flying through space. I was strong but never flexible, on reflection dancing was never going to be an easy path but I just loved the emotional freedom movement gave me. I'm grateful for those years, in spite of the heartache and the legacy of poor body image, I met my two closest friends. That in itself ,makes it all worthwhile, not to mention meeting my husband  too!

Time out with my husband in Valencia after a day of Pilates!

And then two years ago on a trip to NYC, on advice from a fellow Pilates teacher I went to re:AB Pilates http://www.reabnyc.com/ I had a 1-1 session with +BrookeSiler , on  previous trips I had not had the courage to take class in NYC fearing I wasn't good enough and would just embarrass myself (even after 10 years of teaching Pilates), I had always felt lacking because of my lack of Studio apprenticeship training. I needn't have worried as the generous, fun and vivacious energy that Brooke gave me was all about discovering what I could do and leaving the negativity of ingrained over analysis and judgement at the door. I discovered that perhaps Teaser was possible in my body, I just had to change tactics and perspective. I left knowing my teaching would never be the same again but more importantly with a passion for Pilates re awakened in a way that blind sided me. I will be forever grateful for this brief encounter.

Two years on and randomly through Facebook I heard about the Classical Pilates Conference in Valencia http://www.valenciaclassicalpilates.com/  Now as I mentioned before I'm awkward in groups, nervous around people I don't know but Brooke was one of the presenters and this was too good an opportunity to miss, and so with my husband coming along as company (to keep me in Caipirinha's etc) I went to my first Pilates conference. And so it was I met the other presenters +KathiRoss-Nash and +PeterFiasca , along side Brooke these three teachers took us all through three days of Classical Pilates.
.
Peter's energy is calm, clear and technical conveying a deep love and knowledge of Joseph Pilates legacy but nothing could have prepared me for the energetic, unstoppable whirlwind that is Kathi, she alone is a reason to take up drinking Vodka, regularly! (on the assumption that my Pilates would of course be improved) Session One had us being sexy cats and slutty cats and rolling down picking up imaginary martini's, that's it - Finally I found somewhere I fitted in as a teacher (if you have read the previous blog on dancing stegosauruses you will appreciate this epiphany) .We sweated, laughed, collided and grown men definitely cried through the Mat classes taught at the beginning and end of days, everyone left full of energy, vibrant and full of life, and surely that's the point, as Pilates teachers/students shouldn't we always leave workshops, seminars and lectures full of answers and even more questions that we can then use  to inspire our own clients? Instead of finding reasons to restrict, analyse and reign them in more, filling them with fear of their bodies and moving we should be freeing them up, after all, just because 1 in 3 of us likely to experience cancer in our lifetime doesn't mean we should treat everyone with the thought that they might already have it, surely?!

I left the conference with renewed energy, not withstanding various new aches and some new friends but also  a burning need to learn more and more and with the notion that perhaps one day I would actually be able to do a cartwheel, if not before my 40th birthday next month then at least in my 40th year...So as I approach my birthday I cant wait to start a studio apprenticeship in September, although equipment qualified I have never felt my training gave me the full understanding that an apprenticeship would allow me, much like learning choreograhy from Labanotation or video never compared to rehearsing in a studio. Up until now I never wanted to teach on equipment as I never felt it was fully in my bones and muscles, and so finally I'm taking the time to explore, play and inevitably fall of the Wunda chair, and because just maybe instead of being the shy insecure cat (my classes are never going to believe this description!) I might finally become a sexy one and maybe even become a better Pilates teacher in the process.

With sincere thanks to Brooke Siler, Kathi Ross-Nash, Peter Fiasca and Tony Balongo for an amazing event, roll on 2014!

Keep Cart wheeling everyone...

Suzy x