 |
| Baxter |
Ok, I admit it, I'm exhausted, overwhelmed and anxious. I'm also loving my new training, learning a lot and being pushed to every limit of my being currently in my real life. I'm a Pilates teacher, that does not make me indestructible, impervious to sadness or always able to know what to do. I have two great loves, Pilates and Animal Welfare, the more I learn about both, the more I'm inspired and the more frustrated I get when small things blur the bigger picture.
Since starting the course I've had the joy of working along side some new trainee teachers and be trained by some truly passionate and gifted ones. The generosity of individuals to preserve and keep alive our great technique is truly humbling and awesome, and I think in some ways the fact that my co trainees find it baffling that I still get teaching stage fright even if it is amusing to watch. I think its easy for those of us who have taught for so long to forget how far our journey has taken us and just how much we have learnt and have yet to learn. You see the more I understand the Classical approach to Pilates the more I'm interested in understanding everyone's perspective on the work, because new isn't always wrong, its just different. Having recently read 'Your Health' written in the 30's there is a very different feel to the work in 'Return to Life' written in the 40's and perhaps that's the point the work we do is always going to have a different view, it just depends which lookout you are positioned on and perhaps even which decade..
And so it seems with the day to day effort to keep Life full of life and as I prepare the teaching schedule up to Christmas, I barely have time to consider the previous year. I had the most amazing time in Italy with an amazing group of Pilates devotees, I really have not laughed like that in a long time, I am truly, truly grateful to those who made it such an awesome experience, even if I did find myself unexpectedly rescuing a poodle one morning, once an animal advocate, always an animal advocate even when at work it seems.
Since returning my life has been classes, training, legal deadlock with a Freeholder, VAT dilemmas, unhappy tenants, volunteering at my local animal shelter and divorce and now a sick dog with joint problems. Enter my dog Baxter who is my calm in the storm, but now he hurts and never complains and my heart aches for him. My quiet companion who belongs to a so so called devil breed otherwise known as Bull breeds has rescued my soul from the overwhelming grief of losing my beloved dog Honey to Cancer last September, his quiet grace and humor compels me to slow down and chase leaves occasionally...and so it is with admitting that sometimes I get overwhelmed, I say the wrong things to loved ones and to friends, I sometimes forget to reply to emails and voicemail's or update my website, but in case someone doesn't notice because I'm busy being the strong, capable one, sometimes I just need a little grace too, a little time and understanding, after all its Just Pilates and I'm just a Pilates teacher learning to let go. But rest assured I promise not to lick your face in gratitude, even if I am forever grateful.
Keep up the Pilates journey....
Suzy
