When I was approaching writing this I had thought it would be about my recent Pilates adventure in NYC and New Jersey, I then thought it would be about TRX. Yesterday I thought it would be about loss. Today I realize it is about Love.
When I took up the invite to head out to New Jersey I knew it would be an awesome opportunity to study with and be surrounded by some exceptional individuals. I also knew my insecurities and fears around meeting new people would rage, which they did. Not because of anything the extraordinary and diverse group of people did (they were all, without exception generous, spirited and passionate about Pilates) but because I am haunted continually by fears of letting people down. Its easy to buckle to our fears and even easier to run from them but with the support of those I respected and trusted the only sensible thing to do was to buckle down, stay focused and enjoy the ride. My love of Pilates and those who inspire me, I decided, was greater than the continual tinnitus of my fears. Which brings me to my attempts at TRX.
As those who know me well will observe I'm not keen on loud music or fast exercise, I'm not sure what happened other than the fact that I decide to say f**k it and go with the flow, possibly landing on my tush in the process but something intriguing happened. It turned out to be great fun and even better I didn't land on my backside, the more I let go of my failure anxiety the better I became at balance and control. It would be fair to say that many were somewhat bemused by my sudden 'energy' and 'attack', I did however, take note and I did learn a lesson. I remembered how much I love moving and how I'm much better when I move more and think less. KRN I may even have it tattooed as a permanent reminder!
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| NYC...a city to walk, watch and take note. |
Whilst in Manhattan I caught up with an old friend, we went to Soul Cycle, we drank slime green juices, we walked and talked for miles and miles. We rarely see each other and lose contact for months at a time and then we meet up and no time has passed at all. I remembered how much I loved the friends who love you even without daily status updates. The friends who hold your hand through the night even when they're miles away and the friends who make a promise that your flight will go just fine, just because they know your frightened of getting on the plane during a storm.
So finally as I was navigating my thoughts I was saddened to read yesterday about a Pilates teacher killed in NYC by a negligent cab driver last weekend. I did not know her personally but the fact that I had been in the City that weekend really resonated with me. She was due to relocate this weekend and begin a new chapter in her life, she had everything to live for and a life to love. The Universe had different plans however. I hope she knew how much she was loved and respected by her Pilates family so evident with the condolences expressed. And so with the journey of this last week, the fact that it might have been me stepping out in front of that yellow cab that Love is really all its about. Loving what we do, loving those who mean the world to us, whatever the ultimate cost. Loving our bodies, regardless of the things we consider imperfect. But most of all Loving adventure, risk, dogs, cats, kisses, modal airplanes and French Martinis, not necessarily in that order. And should the Universe decide it has other plans at least I will know I lived incidentally and loved first.
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| Pitbull love in the city sunshine.... |
Sweet sixteen love, respect and inspiration,
Suzy x
www.seraphinapilates.com
