Feel free to defriend me....

When you 'Like' me what does that mean? when you 'follow' me or become my friend? I'm seriously starting to wander. Several years ago I came off Facebook because I was being bullied by someone close enough to hurt. My confidence, already low, couldn't take the hit so I removed myself from public view. My classes were full, so, I reasoned, I didn't need social media in my life, very few of my friends were on it so why bother? In truth however, once I started running my Pilates Retreats I realized I needed a place to interact with those who didn't know me, researching every aspect of our lives online has become a standard thing in daily life, whether its looking for cheap flights or reading the latest Gossip on Mr Clooney.

Returning to Facebook has given me access to people, teachers and organisations  I may never have heard about, for every petition I sign in total despair there are stories of life's hero's that remind me that there are good people doing extraordinary things daily in this world. However, having just spent the afternoon at the Shelter, my usual shift with the dogs reminded me just how much humans complicate a life that should be much simpler. As I walked and played with the rejected and unwanted dogs, the bereaved companions left behind and the unwanted litters of  puppies I thought how much time people waste being hurtful, spiteful or just plain cruel. Each week I interact with dogs with every right to be aggressive, reactive or vengeful I am always struck by how, for the most part  I am met with hope, warmth and often too much love no matter what fate had delivered.

So for those who wish to use social media as a way to thread bullying, to imply, suggest or generate gossip, lies or mistrust please do me the favor of defriending, unliking and unfollowing me immediately because quite frankly your presence in my life is a pain in the Arse. This includes those of you who direct it at my colleagues, my friends and my family. I don't let many people into my life, I'm fiercely guarded, but those I do I will protect, privately, publicly and usually very loudly. You see some of us who have been abused, hurt and bullied do not use it as an excuse to abuse, bully or  hurt. As my mother always said 'words are like nails that have been hammered in, even if you pull the nails out they still leave a mark, so be careful with the ones you use'

So if you're reading this I hope your a friend and I hope we continue to inspire and learn from each other, and to those with nothing more than venom in their words I say this ; the fat little girl, you know the one, the hearing impaired child who couldn't read until eight, constantly plagued by unsightly cold-sore outbreaks caused by anxiety, the one who chose to be a survivor and not a victim when some trusted adults failed her, the one who was told repeatedly by teachers that she just wasn't good enough no matter how hard she tried. Well, that child would like to thank you for the training because she's had a lifetime of listening to you and quite frankly she's finally graduated from ever having to listen to your Bullshit rhetoric again. She's done Ok and she's still going. Does this mean I wont shed tears when my confidence is crashing? I doubt it, but it wont be hateful voices keeping me there, it will however be the friends and family kicking me back into positive gear whether its though the magic of others posts, tweets, messages or good old fashioned Martinis putting the worlds to rights!

Me, aged 7

Have a wonderful weekend all!
Suzy
www.seraphinapilates.com