Eyore's headstand and an appendix in withdrawal...

Moonwalk 2013

In all honesty I had thought my next post would be about the London Moonwalk 2013. Taking part last weekend with 17,000 women and men was as expected an inspiring event to be part of and besides which Mum and I raised over £900 for charities supporting those affected by breast cancer, both my grandmothers have had mastectomies and one still lives with the disease, I have heard countless arguments suggesting that Breast cancer gets a disproportionate amount of funding and attention, I have heard arguments against the pink ribbon and its prettifying of a brutal, cruel disease. I've heard women prepared to have their scars photographed vilified and criticised. My answer to all this to participate in a walk and support however I can because until those who criticise walk in someone else's shoes quite honestly their judgement falls on deaf ears.

After the walk I was unusually shattered, I'm pretty resilient but I couldn't shake off a feeling of unwellness, Monday and Tuesday were both normal days, I took part in advanced studio classes but after teaching Tuesday evening I knew something was wrong...so off I trotted to St Charles Urgent care doctor, who kindly reassured me but sent me on St Mary's Hospital, Paddington. The odd thing about this whole process was it never really occurred I would be admitted (I drove after all), I suspected my appendix was unhappy but assumed anti biotics would be given, 4am Wednesday morning I was sat on a ward desperately trying to borrow a blackberry charger (nurse Sally I am indebted to you) and so the most surreal 24 hours unfolded, animals at home alone, a car needing to be moved before 8.30am, thankfully taken care of by mum and dad in the middle of the night and early hours. I was told that in spite of my apparent health and excellent blood results (that always confuses surgeons as vegans are meant to always be ill and deficient) within 48 hours I would be significantly less well. After X-rays, an ultra scan and endless prodding, bloods, cannula's (I hate blood being taken) and more importantly no tea I was added to the list for Surgery.

Now Tea is pivotal here as I'm hyper sensitive to it and although I don't drink that much If I don't have it, after 8 hours I hit serious withdrawal, by the time my lovely friend Amanda arrived at 7pm wed evening I still hadn't gone in for surgery and I had a banging migraine, was sweating and vomiting. The appendix discomfort was nothing compared to hitting an impromptu rehab scenario, Tetley's you have a lot to answer for! I even remember asking the anaesthetist for a caffeine drip instead of Tramadol, he sympathised, laughed and sent me into a scene of Pooh bear and Eyore doing a hand stand, I remember drifting and wondering if I'd ever do corkscrew again.....

I hate needles!

I woke up convinced I was in a Stephen King novel, and it appeared that the Tramadol I had turned down was for the diaphragm spasms that no one had warned me about, lasting on and off for 24 hours!....come back appendix all is forgiven, I have never breathed that deeply or laterally, EVER! at that point I realise my abdominals appear to have been removed during surgery....that was not expected, I'm pulling in and literally nothing is happening. Keep calm and keep focused my calm voice tells me, F***, F***, F***! my other voice is screaming. The warm glass of water someone offered me in recovery was the greatest thing I have ever drunk as was my first cup of tea!. 8 hours later I have been sent home. In the meantime my husband flew back from Portugal to help out (a great sign of friendship given our current situation), as everyone who knows me will appreciate I do not like accepting help, I'm strong, independent and stubborn however, there is something very humbling about not being able to walk up and down a flight of stairs, lift a kettle or get up from lying down (I told you they had removed my abs, roll ups are but a dream)

So really this blog is a thank you to the amazing staff at St Marys, most of whom my path crossed for only a few moments but whom work tirelessly within the NHS to ensure people whose lives are suddenly upturned feel safe, protected and listened to. This institution should be outside of Politics, its something that Britons should be extremely proud of and protect at all costs. I saw people working with reduced resources, working past their shifts and showing dedication far beyond their duty. To those who took time out to send well wishes they meant more than you realise, to those friends who asked for updates at any hour you cannot imagine how this helped keep my nerves down and raised a smile or two in the darkness, to Amanda, Georgina and of course the charming +BenCullinger who continues to answer my ongoing questions with quiet humour and will shortly I'm sure make the most wonderful doctor, I am convinced, thank you.

As for me 3 days on I'm moving more each day, back to teaching with just my voice from tomorrow...I've loved the messages assuming I'm going to be easier in class just because my own abs are on sabbatical...like that's going to happen, reread the stubborn paragraph above....I'm back on full strength tea so now so anything really is possible....

Much love all,
Suzy x